Overly sensitive people in the natural hair community. I know we all have our struggles as naturalista’s, and we’re constantly battling negative stereotypes when it comes to our natural hair. But when we have discussions amongst ourselves, we should be able to speak freely and not be censored by the natural hair police or admins of a group who try to tell you what you can and cannot say, especially when it’s not demeaning or offensive. We all have different thoughts and opinions, and having natural hair is not going to change that. Having natural hair does not mean that we’re exempt from all criticism. That’s not being realistic at all.
I’m starting to rethink being part of natural hair groups on Facebook because I’m finding that grown women don’t know how to have grown up conversations about HAIR. It’s sickening and it’s a shame. I left a group tonight because the admins tried to chastise and tell others how they should and should not feel and what they can and cannot say when everyone was simply stating their opinion on a hairstyle. Yes, a hairstyle people. It was so ridiculous and so petty and uncalled for. And that’s when I said “You know what? I’m too old for this.”
We cannot control what people think, what they say, or how they feel. All we can do is focus on ourselves and keep ourselves uplifted. Tune out the negativity and keep showing the strength and beauty of our natural hair as much as possible. Be supportive of one another and stop trying to make people think and feel the way you do. Those who are natural still have misinformed, backwards, or flat out ignorant thoughts on natural hair, which means not everyone is on the same path or level in their journey as you may be. People can only learn through education, not censorship.
I’m going to share with you something a friend of my sister’s posted on my Facebook page last night (Wednesday). Mind you I had no clue that she was even considering going Natural or that she had read my blog posts, which makes her post all the more heartwarming. I was moved to tears when I read it. It makes me all the more happy that I decided to chronicle my journey with this blog and posting it to my Facebook page for others to read as well. You just never know who you will inspire or touch in such a positive way. I’m over the moon happy for my friend and I hope OUR journey reaches and inspires many more directly or indirectly.
“Sonya, I have decided to join you in the nappy hair journey. I’ve been thinking about it seriously for a while. My mom and aunt and sister are all natural. They do it in three different ways and looks. My sister is more conservative. She just wears hers short with no frills. My mom has been natural for years. So, her hair is long and gray and she goes for braids (one or two) never anything too spicy. But my Aunt Wendy does all the frills and whistles with hers. Hers is long too. But all of them are natural and kinky (nappy) and seem happy. So, last night I just got up and cut the perm out of my hair. I have maybe half of an inch of hair on my whole head. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve ever seen myself like this. I love it!!!! Truly I do. Now Excell is sleep right now and I don’t imagine he will have anything kind or encouraging to say, but I’m maturer now and stronger. I have my own little vision and I can do this without his support. He’s been my major obstacle. He doesn’t like it, but he hasn’t seen it on his wife of twenty years yet. I can totally rock this. I will put a picture up for you tomorrow. You’ve been very instrumental along with a couple of my other nappy sisters in encouraging me to take one more step towards being a stronger and better woman. If you never learn to love the naked truth about yourself, then why in the world be you? I love my mind, my life, my children, my husband, my beliefs, my choices in life, and every glorious thing there is to love about myself. So, I’m about to start loving my hair too. Can I get a, “Right on, sista!””
The best part is she announced her decision on her own Facebook page and a whole community of her friends who are fellow naturalistas (including myself) came out and supported her with such encouraging words and experiences. I spent a good part of my morning reading and having discussions with some wonderful women. It truly lifted my spirits and reaffirmed my decision to love and embrace my natural hair. One of our mutual friends who is not African American joined in the discussion and shared how she made the decision to stop using harmful dyes and perms in her hair. She said she even stopped using shampoo and now use more natural methods to wash and condition her hair. So going natural isn’t just something African American women can do, ALL women can do it. Keep being an inspiration people!