You Know….Cuz Natural Hair is in Style Now…..

You guys remember how I said that I have no problem stopping a complete stranger to tell them how gorgeous their natural hair is right? I do it all the time, and sometimes it leads to a 10-15 minute conversation about hair, products, and regimens. A few weeks ago my husband and I were out and about and decided to grab some subs. Two cars away from us a woman was also heading inside of the restaurant and she had gorgeous curly locks. Her hair was so full and had body, and it was colored the prettiest caramel color too. I knew right then and there that once we got inside and ordered our food that I was going to A) tell her her hair is gorgeous, and B) talk hair with her.

She was very nice and very sweet and our conversation started out really nice. She had been natural for seven years but she was still flat ironing her hair almost every day until the damage it caused made her stop. When she stopped straightening her hair was when she discovered and loved her natural curl pattern. She’s a curly girl through and through and never knew it! I’m sitting there excited for her and eagerly hoping that she’d drop more eye opening gems on me. We began talking about products and she said that there’s nothing on the market that works well for her hair so she started making her own concoctions like you know who. Y’all know my eyes lit up like the high beam lights on a car right?

So here we are totally engaged in this natural hair conversation while my poor husband was relegated to putzing with his phone because I had completely ignored him to talk to this stranger about hair, and then I hear this:

“Well you know most men don’t like natural hair, so then I go back to straightening my hair with the flat iron. But now that natural hair seems to be in style again I’ll be rocking this while it’s in style. Pretty soon the wigs, weaves and braids will be making a comeback too.”

Please insert the sound effects of car tires screeching to a halt. My face and my heart just fell. My excitement evaporated immediately. I looked at my husband like “Did you just hear this? Did you hear the words that just came out of her mouth?” (In my Chris Tucker voice) But of course he wasn’t paying attention to our conversation but I needed someone to confirm that I heard right.

Actually, this is how my face looked. True story.

There was so much wrong with her statement that I didn’t know where to begin. To be fair this was her opinion no matter how much I disagreed with it. Instead I simply said “Well, I don’t think natural hair is in style. I think more and more women are realizing that natural is the best and healthiest for their hair.” She simply looked at me wide eyed and nodded in agreement. Then I quickly added “I don’t think braids will ever go out of style. Neither will wigs or weaves. Those are protective styles that many of us use to protect our hair.” Again I got the blank stare.

Look, I know not everyone is trying to make a statement with their natural hair. However, I do feel the return to natural hair is a bit of a movement, but not a political one. I think it’s just women being more informed and educated on how harmful the chemicals are that make up relaxers are to their bodies. Then they make the informed decision to let their hair grow out of their scalps the way it was meant to because it’s healthier. This woman that I was speaking with was clearly looking at natural hair as a fad to be followed, to be hip with, but also as a hindrance to her love life because some of the men she dated didn’t like her natural hair. She’s trying to please too many people, and that made me sad.

My parting words to her was “Your hair is gorgeous the way it is, and if some man doesn’t like it then too bad. There are plenty more out there who will appreciate you and your hair for it’s natural beauty.” She thanked me and then her order was called and she left.

This experience opens the door to several conversations:

1) What makes people think or assume that the natural hair movement is a fad, as if it’ll go away or die down in another year or two?

2) Are you willing to go back to the creamy crack or use a flat iron every day if your mate doesn’t like your natural hair?

This experience also confirmed my long held belief that everyone’s natural hair journey is different. Regardless of the why’s and how’s I’m just happy that women have kicked the creamy crack to the curb. This naturalista that I met may be torn between pleasing the guy she’s dating (or finding a guy who likes her natural hair to date) and staying en vogue with the latest hair styles, but what sticks out to me is that she’s been natural for seven years. That’s awesome to me, and I hope she stays natural.

Hey Y’all!!!

First off: Happy TWO YEAR NATURAL ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been M.I.A. for a very long time, and all I can say is that LIFE happened! Everything is good though. My hair is growing and its fabulous. I had box braids for a while and now I’m back to rocking my afro and I’m loving it! My girls are rocking their afro and puffs and other cute styles and we’re just some happy naturalistas!

I think the last time I posted it was about making a hair and body moisturizer with mango butter, organic coconut oil, olive oil, vitamin E, and vanilla essential oil. Did I tell you that stuff is the BOMB on the hair?? It gives you softness and sheen like no other and I’m going to be making more soon.

As far as other products go, I haven’t experimented with anything else. I’ve kept it down to using Wen apricot moisturizing shampoo and conditioner in one, and either my homemade shea butter or mango butter moisturizer. We spritz our hair with water and olive oil every day and that’s it. I plait my hair up at night and tie it up and rock a curly afro from that. I pineapple every once in a blue moon but that’s my routine. Hair washing is once a week or every two weeks, depending on how heavy I used products, and the same goes for my girls. The less manipulation the better and that is what has contributed to our hair growth.

I’ve tossed around the idea of straightening my hair on my two-year anniversary and I’ve decided not to. I’m in no rush to have my hair straightened because I love the fullness of my afro. I love how big it is. I LOVE BIG HAIR! LOL!

Every so often I see posts on how to get your hair curly or people will give me suggestions on what products to use to achieve a curly look. Let me give this PSA, and I hope people hear me loud and clear: I am very happy with my afro. I am very happy with my kinks and coils and the fact that my hair grows up and out and doesn’t necessarily curl in such a way that others will drool over and deem pretty. I am fine  with that, I accept what my hair can and cannot do. I’m sure if I worked diligently enough my hair would indeed curl and have fabulous definition, but that’s not what I want. It’s not what I aspire to have. From the day I big chopped two years ago I accepted my hair, and I love everything about it. So to you naturally curly ladies, I salute you. You have beautiful hair, but guess what? So do I. Let’s keep celebrating each other and accepting each other.

I’ve been away so long that I have so much more to share with you! Stay tuned my lovelies!