Kids With Locs – How Do You Feel?

There has been much debate on this subject with each side having compelling views. I’ve heard the argument that mothers don’t give their daughters a choice when they put relaxers or hot combs in their hair, or style their hair with barrettes and hair baubles at a young age. It is believed that children should have a choice. However, you can go down a never-ending rabbit hole when it comes to asking your child permission. For one, at what age do you begin to ask permission? What would you do if your child tells you no? Where does it end? But there are others who feel the complete opposite. As the parent many feel it is their right to choose how to style their child’s hair as they see fit. But what about locs, a style that is permanent? Let’s talk about it.

Why parents choose locs for their children

The reasons are many and varied:

• Convenience – As with mothers who give relaxers to their young daughters because they feel it’s easier and more convenient to deal with, those who loc their children’s hair may feel the same way. Let’s face it; not every mother knows how to comb hair. Not every mother has the patience to deal with natural hair.
• The Parent(s) Has Locs – Usually, if a father or mother has locs, they want their children to have locs too. Many choose to be a locked family, and they start their children off as young as a year old with locs.
• They are Rastafarian (Religion) – According to history, Rastafarians grow their hair into dreadlocks because it is a part of the Nazarite vow. All Rastafarians take this vow and claim the bible commands it (Leviticus 21:5 “They shall not make baldness upon their head, neither shall they shave off the corner of their beard nor make any cuttings in their flesh”). Samson is believed to be a Nazarite with dreadlocks. Many Rastafarians believe that like Samson, their hair is their strength and also their weakness if it is cut off .

girls are fickle about their hair

Hair is critical to females, hence the reason why we have such a strong emotional attachment to it. What we decide to do with our daughter’s hair can either work out well or blow up in our faces. Here’s why: Girls tend to be more fickle than boys when it comes to hair. We as mothers sometimes assume our daughters will want to follow in our footsteps when it comes to hair, but that doesn’t always happen. It has been my experience as a mother of two girls, that girls tend to know what they want their hair to look like at very early ages, and what they want their hair to look like always change. That’s why locking your child’s hair at an early age can be a crapshoot. You don’t know how long they’ll like it, let alone keep the style.

I’ve witnessed kids tell their parents that they want to experience having loose natural hair and be able to wear it in an afro or wear it straight and in different styles that you can’t do with locs. Will you as the parent be okay with that? Are you prepared for that possibility? Don’t give up hope, though. There’s a good chance that your child may change their mind later on as a teenager or adult.

Teasing and bullying because of having locs

For boys, it can be the same deal, but just a little different. We have to remember that these are kids. Most adults who loc their hair did so as adults. The chances are very slim that we were teased incessantly for having long locs as adults. The same can’t be said for kids, boys in particular, with long locs. Teasing and bullying are real, even more so in today’s society. While boys may want to look like their dads and have locs, that can change if they are teased and bullied about their hair. The same goes for girls.

Parents must make sure our kids are confident in who they are as black children and children wearing their natural hair. The need to fit in and feel accepted can be strong, causing our kids to feel the need to change how they dress, behave, or look. It is crucial that we make sure our kids know their beauty and uniqueness and to never give in to bullying or the need to fit in. Yes, it is easier said than done, but we must try.

Let your kids decide when they want locs

Willow Smith locked her hair as a teenager

What is an appropriate age to let your child decide when they want locs? That’s up to parents to choose. My daughters are 17 and 15, soon to be 18 and 16. They’ve had natural hair for most of their lives (except for my massive lapse in judgement when they were 9 and 11 years old, and I gave them kiddie relaxers. BIG mistake). They’ve experienced just about every hairstyle you could provide a little girl from braids, ponytails, afro puffs, afros, intricate french braids with beads and many more styles. If they were to tell me that they wanted locs, I would first pass out from excitement, and second, educate them on the pros and cons of having locs and the various locs they can choose.

Allowing your kids to experience their loose natural hair and different hairstyles can be beneficial in helping them to appreciate locs later. They won’t feel like they are missing out on something that they have never experienced before. I would LOVE for my girls to loc their hair, but they aren’t interested. But what I hope is as they watch me go through my loc journey, they will be inspired to loc their hair one day.

Locking a child’s hair is every parent’s personal decision. However, be sure you weigh the pros and cons before doing so. Are you a locked family? Did you loc your child’s hair at a young age? Chime in! I’d love to hear from you!