Educating Does Not Equal Judging

Since I’ve started vlogging on Youtube, I’ve noticed in some of the comments on my videos that a lot of people feel like I’m judging other people’s hair or haircare choices. That couldn’t be further from the truth. My goal has always been to educate black women about their natural hair and the healthiest ways to care for their hair based on my own research and experience. You don’t have to like or agree with what I say, but Google has always been free so feel free to do your own research. As a matter of fact, I strongly encourage doing your own research.

I go out of my way to uplift and be encouraging to all because being natural isn’t easy for everyone. Especially if you’ve never seen or dealt with your natural hair because you’ve gotten relaxers your entire life. Many are intimidated, insecure, and have very low self confidence in themselves when it comes to being natural, so the last thing we need is more negativity. If I can help others avoid common natural hair pitfalls that many newbies encounter, then I’m going to share my knowledge as much as possible.

Being on social media, I follow a lot of natural hair and loc pages on Facebook and Instagram. One of my favorites is locmamas on Instagram. She is a professional loctician of 26 years and is based out of Atlanta, GA and also has a shop in Philly. Last week she posted a video of a young lady’s locs who combed out her ends to have the goddess braids look.

The image below is how goddess braids look on someone who does not have locs.

The image below is the look/current trend called “goddess locs” that those with locs are trying to achieve.

Below is what the young lady did to her hair trying to achieve the goddess locs look. In this photo she’s sitting in a salon chair to have repairs made to her locs.

Ladies, please listen: If your natural hair does not have a loose curl pattern or curl up naturally when water touches it versus drawing up into an afro the minute moisture of any kind touches it, this style WILL NOT work for you. And if you can somehow get your ends to curl up, I know for a fact it’s going to take a lot of products and time to make that happen. But the bigger question is WHY? Why take down the ends of your locs for a look or style that you are bound to get bored with until the next trend comes along? This is the part of the game that I will never understand and it’s a conversation that needs to be had.

Unfortunately, the world is full of trend and fad followers thanks to social media. (i.e. videos of naturals getting relaxers or Jheri Curls, naturals relaxing their edges, videos of naturals and those with locs dying their hair different colors every other week, people combing out or cutting off their locs – and all mostly done for social media views and clicks.) What is equally unfortunate is that there are a lot of black women (young and old) who refuse to educate themselves about their natural hair. The end result of these trends are damaged hair, regret, tears and the need for someone to correct their mistakes.

When professional locticians and beauticians express their frustration with these trends, (which ultimately result in their phones blowing by people wanting them to fix the damage they’ve done to their hair) they’re accused of being judgmental. Please make it make sense.

“Why do you care what people do their hair?”

“Let people live!”

“You need to stop judging people’s personal choices!”

“It’s their hair, not yours!”

Really?

You’re right. It is their hair and their decision to make. But when you follow fads despite being advised against doing certain things to your hair and you do it anyway… only to find out that the advice you were given was correct… and now you’re asking that same person to FIX the damage you’ve caused, don’t you think it’s only natural for that beautician or loctician to feel a certain way? We brag on how versatile our kinky, coily hair is, how easy it is for African American women to change up their style at any given moment. Yes we can wear our hair natural, we can straighten it, we can crimp it, have finger waves, get braids, weaves, and wigs in every style imaginable. But we have to do better at doing these things in a safe and healthy way! It disturbs and saddens me to see so many women creating harmful content for clicks and their followers following their lead because it’s the latest trend on social media. It’s sending out the wrong message and it’s hurting the natural hair community.

We must get out of this idea that giving correct hair advice is equal or equivalent to judging. It is not! It only feels or sounds like judgement because you’re not hearing what you want to hear. Too many people want to be told that it’s ok to do all the damaging and unhealthy things that they want to do to their hair. Or, they’ve already done some damaging and unhealthy things to their hair and they don’t want to be told that it’s unhealthy or wrong. These same people will flip it and say “Well it worked for me…I’ve been doing it for years and my hair is healthy.” What they’re not telling you is how many times they’ve had to big chop and start all over because their hair fell out. Their not telling you how damaged their ends were or that the breakage they experienced was so severe that they had patches all over their head.

Beauticians and locticians may not have all the answers, but what they do have is experience. Those who have many years under their belt have seen and heard it all, especially from the hard headed clients who insist on doing damaging things to their hair and then come back to them to fix the damage. They are irritated, frustrated and tired. They wouldn’t be doing their jobs if they didn’t educate and try to correct bad hair habits. And when vloggers like myself and others make videos or post blogs about unhealthy and damaging hair habits, it’s to help – not judge. We all know that everyone has the right to do whatever it is they want to do to their hair. We just want you to be informed and do things in a safe and healthy way. As members of the natural hair community, it is all of our duty to teach.

Breakage & Lessons Learned

Breakage has been an ongoing theme in my natural hair and now loc journey. During my loose natural hair days, I had breakage due to too tight protective styling. Now that I have locs, my breakage is mainly due to too tight retightenings and me scratching my ithcy scalp.

Unfortunately with locs, when you’re new to them there is so much you don’t know no matter how much research you’ve done. I need to be honest and say that I do have regrets with my loc journey. Here are three main ones:

1. Not getting traditional locs like I always wanted. Had I gotten traditional locs, maybe I would have avoided all the horrible locticians that I’ve crossed paths with. I know I would be happier with the look of my locs, and I wouldn’t have had to combine my locs to achieve the loc size I wanted.
2. Scratching my scalp. I’ve always had a dandruff issue so scratching my scalp was normal. Having someone scratch my scalp for me with a comb or their fingernail was also normal – and it felt soooo good! But what I didn’t realize (or perhaps I didn’t believe fat meat was greasy) is that when you have microlocs of any kind, especially sisterlocks, you cannot scratch your scalp with your nails or a comb. You are simply ripping your hair follicles at the base of your loc and that will result in breakage. You may not see the breakage right away, but it will show.
3. Not taking my time to research in depth all loc options. This one is huge. During my loc research I came across sisterlocks and I became so enamored with them that I ignored all other locs. I didn’t bother looking into the various ways of starting locs, I didn’t look into all the various kinds of locs. I stopped at sisterlocks and I obsessed over sisterlocks and then made the hasty decision to get sisterlocks. About six months to a year of having them I knew I made a mistake. I should have gotten traditional locs.

I admire those who started their loc journeys over because they weren’t happy with their locs. I’m trying to save mine to avoid having to start over from scratch. But I also have to be realistic in what that means. If I don’t get this breakage under control I may end up having to start all over anyway. When you have breakage with your locs, it takes a very long time for your hair to recover from that. I know I’ve said this before in my YouTube videos, but I must take the care of my locs into my own hands. I keep coming across the wrong locticians who don’t listen, who aren’t skilled enough, who think super tight reties are the only way to achieve a neat look. This needs to stop.

My health must also be factored into the equation. One year after getting sisterlocks, I had major surgery, a total hysterectomy, which affects my hormones, hair growth, etc. When you are lacking certain hormones or your hormones are out of balance, one of the main side effects is hair loss, hair thinning, and breakage. Combine this with having reties done entirely too tight and me scratching my dandruff with my fingernails, and you have a recipe for major breakage. Now that I’ve identified the problems, how do I move forward? Do I cut off my locs and start from scratch? Do I keep my locs and combine them again and hope that stops or slows the breakage? Or do I continue with my locs but make changes to how I care for my hair in hopes that it will stop or slow down the breakage and make my locs healthier?

What I really want to do is find a professional who has experience helping clients with damaged hair and knows what to do to get their hair healthy again. That has been a very hard task to accomplish because more often than not, word of mouth is the only way you’d get that information. You can’t just look in the Yellow Pages and go through pages and pages of locticians and call every number you find. And it’s hard to do a search on the internet for locticians in your area because A) not all of them are listed or advertise their services. B) if you live an area where there aren’t many locticians you’re simply up the creek, and C) very few state that they know how to care for loc issues. This is where I feel discouraged, stuck, and running in a constant circle. My only wish is that I can find someone that’s willing to help me get my locs back healthy. But if I can’t find that person, then I will have to take the care of my locs into my own hands and do what I feel is best for them.

Locs, as with loose natural hair, are indeed a journey. A journey I’m not ready to give up on. My hair is the longest it’s ever been in years. I love waking up in the morning and not having to worry about combing and styling my hair. I love walking in the rain without worrying about my hair drawing up. There are so many positives with having locs and I’m not ready to give that up. I’m not ready to start over. I am determined to figure out a way to deal with my breakage and save my locs so I can continue on this wonderful journey. If I find that it’s best that I start over, only then will I cut off my hair and start all over. Until then, the journey continues.

Hair Dye, Relaxers And The Increased Cancer Risk For Black Women

On Wednesday, December 4th, 2019, there was an article published stating that hair dye and chemical relaxers increases the risk of breast cancer in women, but especially in black women by a whopping 9%. If you haven’t read the article, here it is: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/12/04/784838430/hair-dye-and-straightener-use-linked-to-higher-cancer-risk-especially-for-black-

The truth about relaxers

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The harmful effects of chemical relaxers: Breakage, scarring, and permanent hair loss.

This article and it’s findings is alarming yet not surprising. Relaxers are made of very harsh chemicals, even if there isn’t any lye in them. Some of the main chemicals used in hair relaxers are sodium hydroxide, ammonium thioglycolate, and sodium thioglycolate. The fact that these chemicals have been tested and proven to eat through and melt various metals should frighten us. (See Chris Rock’s movie Good Hair) When relaxers are left on our hair and scalp too long, guess what happens? Our scalp burns, and once it heals, you’re left with ugly scabs and patches and loss of hair. When you do this continuously over the course of decades, imagine the damage done to our bodies inside and out? Our body is absorbing these chemicals, and these chemicals are damaging our insides. No one should be surprised at the rise of fibroid tumors, endometriosis, permanent hair loss, and cancer in black women who use chemical relaxers and hair dyes on a regular basis.

An attack on black women and their hair

I’ve read some interesting opinions about this study, and there are those who have stated that the findings was ‘yet another attack on black women and their hair.’ I totally disagree. This article is bringing attention to a problem that still permeates the black community: The dangerous things black women do to have straight hair. More importantly, why we still feel that in order for our hair to be pretty it has to be straight. Also, why aren’t we teaching our young girls that their natural hair is beautiful and enough?

I hate that we’re still willing to overlook doing things that have been proven to be unhealthy for us. We’d rather keep doing things that we know are harmful to our bodies because we’ve been taught that straight hair is the standard of beauty. Basically, we refuse to see the beauty in our natural hair. That is very sad to me. I know women who would rather die than let their natural hair show. The idea of showing their natural hair to the world gives them anxiety. That’s how deep the issue of straight hair versus natural or ‘nappy’ hair is in the black community.

There is no judgment from me as to whether if you choose to get chemical relaxers or have natural hair. The choices we make in life all have consequences. We know eating junk food is bad for our health, yet many of us still eat it, myself included. It’s been proven for years that there are harmful chemicals in junk food that contribute to poor health and preventable diseases. On the flip side, there are numerous reports and studies that show that healthier fruits and vegetables claiming to be organic aren’t organic. Harmful pesticides are still being used on fruits and vegetables that in turn, make us sick. Chemicals are in everything. However, we do have some control over what we put on and into our bodies. We don’t have to use chemical relaxers or hair dyes. We don’t have to eat foods that we know are bad for us. So when we know better, why is it so hard to do better?

Change is hard

Change can be hard. We all know this. Regardless of color, we tend to do things out of habit, tradition, or what we’ve been told and taught. The same goes for black women and straightening their hair. We grew up getting our hair straightened with straightening combs or ‘hot combs.’ When we got a little older, we were introduced to chemical relaxers. Unfortunately, some have been introduced to chemical relaxers at very young ages, some as young as three years old. But WHY?

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African Queens and Princesses

We can’t have this discussion without going back to where this all originated, which is slavery. Our ancestors where kings and queens, princes and princesses in Africa. Our hair was worn in regal, intricate styles that told important stories of what tribe we belonged to, who our family was, and if we were of royal descent or not. When we were kidnapped and shipped to the United States, we were stripped of our identity and heritage. Our hair was shaved off. When we still found ways to braid and adorn our hair, laws were put in place where we legally had to keep our hair covered with rags and scarves. We were told that our hair was nappy, kinky, unkempt and ugly. All of these terms were meant to degrade our hair.

Imagine being taught that your hair was beautiful, regal, something to be proud of. Then one day, you’re forcibly taken to a new country and forced into slavery, and told that your hair and your heritage is not beautiful and has no meaning. Many lengths are taken to strip you of your identity. Instead you’re taught that only straight, blonde or brunette hair is beautiful. And over time, you believe this because it has been literally beaten into you, and you in turn pass this down to your children, grandchildren, and so forth. And here we are today.

Wake up call

Articles like this should be a wake up call to the African American community. We should be moved to do better, to educate, and to advocate for natural hair. There are so many things that affect us disproportionately more than any other racial group, and our health is at the top of the list. It doesn’t have to be this way. We can do things to better our health, to give ourselves a chance to live longer, healthier lives. This includes how we care for our hair.

Natural Kids Hair Salon in Richmond, VA

More education on natural hair, how to take care of it and maintain it from birth into adulthood is desperately needed. I feel there should be college courses or resources offered specifically geared towards educating ones on natural African American hair and how to care for it. There needs to be more natural hair salons that offer classes to mothers, fathers, caregivers, non-African American couples who have adopted black children on how to care for African American children’s hair. There is a strong need for education in our community, and if there were more resources in every community, I truly believe more people would see how beautiful natural hair is, and how natural hair is the best option for their overall health.

What are your thoughts on this article’s findings on the connection between chemical relaxers and hair dyes and the increased cancer risk in African American women? I want to hear from you!

Sisterlocks: Breakage and Thinning Locs

The other day I made a video about my one year locversary and my thoughts on it. Of course I spoke on the high’s and low’s and where I am in my journey today. Right after I uploaded the video to YouTube, I was going through my locs and noticed the end of one dangling by a few hairs and I pulled it off. Then I noticed a loc at the crown that had serious slippage/thinning at the base. It was at least an inch and a half worth. So the base of that loc is very thin and weak. Not good.

Surprisingly, I didn’t freak out

I was shocked (sort of) to see such damage, but I didn’t freak out. I say ‘sort of’ because I know I did two things that more than likely contributed to the breakage and thinning: 1. I flat ironed my hair and 2. I washed my hair in the shower recently. Also, I braid my hair every night, and I could be braiding too tight. Now back to washing my hair in the shower, I’m still braiding and banding. I know I’m not fully locked yet. I decided to wash my hair in the shower because I have this nagging feeling that I’m not rinsing the shampoo out of my hair good enough when I wash it over the kitchen sink. My thinking was if I washed it in the shower, the shampoo would rinse out completely. Once again I didn’t factor in the water pressure, and I forgot to adjust the water pressure. I truly believe that accounts for the severe slippage at the base of this one loc. And this is the only loc that has this.

how do i strengthen this weak loc?

Instead of freaking out, I kept thinking of how I could save this weak loc? The only answer to that is to combine it with another loc, but I needed to do some research on how to combine it. In the meantime, to protect it, I gently braided it with other locs and let it blend in with the rest of my hair. I watched many YouTube videos on how to combine your locs. The easiest one I found was simply two strand twisting them and interlocking at the root. My goal is to learn how to interlock so I can self-maintain my locs going forward. Anyway, I two strand twisted the weak loc with a stronger loc, in effect saving that loc. There are various suggestions and ways of how to secure the ends so they don’t unravel after combining them. Some glue them, others sew the ends or secure them with rubber bands. One person suggested just twisting them and leaving them alone IF your ends are still curly (meaning not fully locked). They will join together quicker versus combining locs that are fully mature.

What’s next?

Well, this is the first time I’ve gone a whole month, over a month actually, without a retie. My next retie isn’t until December 9th. So until then, I will continue to wash my hair, oil my scalp as needed to help those dry itchy areas, and keep an eye on the locs I’ve combined. I’ve already been more mindful of how tight I braid my hair at night, making sure I’m not pulling or tugging too hard on them, particularly on the ends. I don’t want any further damage. I’m trying to wash my hair more because I can tell that my locs have not swollen or matured the way they should have at this point in my journey. That’s because I wasn’t washing my hair regularly due to slippage earlier in my journey. When I look at my locs, I still see stringy hair. I know I’m being a little dramatic, but I truly thought that once I reached my one year mark of being sisterlocked, I’d have more mature looking locs. Nope. Washing your hair more and time are the only things that will help your locs mature.

Questions for my loctician

Dr. Locs Moisturizer

The main question I’ll have for my loctician is what can I use to moisturize my locs? I know how dry and brittle my loose natural hair would get during the winter months, and my locked hair won’t be any different. Avoiding breakage and having healthy locs are my main goals. I’m pretty sure she’s going to have me continue to braid and band because of what happened to my one loc, but I’ll still ask her.

I’ll also bring up the bombshell of me wanting to combine my locs and what’s the best way to begin that process. If she would be willing to start the process, that would be great, but if I have to do it myself, I’m willing to do that as well. I have three people to ask as back up plans to get the traditional locs that I want and to teach me how to interlock. I have some options and some ideas that I plan on exploring, and I’m excited!

Sisterlocks Update After 9th Retie

Hair growing outside of the loc

This past Friday, I had my 9th retie. I’m also two weeks away from being ten months sisterlocked. Some of the issues noted by my loctician were slippage of one loc at the nape of my neck. She also noticed that my hair is growing outside of my loc. She said she would have to keep an eye on that and I should too because sometimes that can mean dun-dun-dunnnn BREAKAGE! Of course, my heart began to palpitate, and worry began to consume me at the mere mention of the “b” word.

My fears were quickly put to rest as she assured me that she doesn’t believe it’s breakage, but how my hair grows. So not only does my hair grow outside of the grid, but it also grows out of the loc. She said as long as I don’t mind the look of having fuzzy locs that I shouldn’t worry about it. What I forgot to ask her was is hair growing out of my loc going to be a permanent thing or will this go away after I’m fully locked, because at this point I’m not fully locked. I will ask her at my next retie appointment.

Length check after 9th retie. Two weeks from being 10 months sisterlocked.

important questions

My loctician then asked if I was still braiding and banding when I wash (I do) and if I sleep with a bonnet or a satin pillowcase (I told her a satin pillowcase). I explained to her that I’m making more of an effort to plait my hair up at night due to my sweating. Also, I believe not braiding my hair at night contributes to the fuzzy locs. As far as washing my hair, I only wash my locs twice a month or as needed because of my fear of slippage, and I know certain areas of my head are prone to slippage.

Hormones & Hair loss

Before my surgery and after, my loctician and I discussed the possibility of hair loss following a hysterectomy. She asked if I was on any hormone replacement drugs and if I noticed any thinning or hair loss, to which I answered no. She began to examine my hair at the crown of my head, which is where hair loss typically happens. She said everything looked good and there were no signs of hair loss. I still have a problem area on my right temple, and that has always been a problem area for me from years ago.

Even though my hair looks good and there aren’t any signs of hair loss, I’m going to continue to keep an eye on my crown area. I’m also going to ask if it’s okay to use castor oil on the problem area on my right temple, or a lighter oil that promotes hair growth.

New retie schedule

Remember how I wanted to see if I could push my reties to seven weeks? Well, we agreed on six weeks. My loctician is leaving the decision up to me as to how far I want to push out my reties, and I’m happy about that. Now that my locs are maturing more and I’m not having any significant issues, she’s okay with me going longer between reties. After my next retie, I may even go to seven weeks.

I love the progress that my locs are achieving. Even though I may feel anxious about being able to do certain things with my locs, I see the benefits of waiting, being patient, and communicating with my loctician. My loctician always explains in detail when I have questions or when she’s instructing me on something. Once I understand, it makes following her instructions and having patience easier.

My Satin Pillow Case is Giving Me & My Sisterlocks LIFE!

Since I was knee high to a grasshopper, I was taught that my hair had to be tied up at night. My mother or one of my older sisters always braided my hair the night before, so to keep my hair fresh and looking nice for school the next day, it had to be tied up at night. (My mother worked third shift our entire school life and would be too tired to comb three heads of hair in the morning. So there were practical time saving reasons for doing our hair the night before.) Tying my hair at night continued into adulthood. When I went natural, I switched to silk scarves and satin hair bonnets because they are gentler on our fragile natural hair.

Satin bonnets and my edges

The problem with hair bonnets are the elastic edges. The elastic is needed to keep the bonnet secure on your head at night. However, the elastic is also known to break your hair off around the edges from constant rubbing and friction. Since getting sisterlocks, the satin bonnets irritate me. I don’t know why, but they do. I stopped using them and bought satin pillowcases instead. Oh my goodness. I LOVE THEM! Why didn’t I do this sooner?

The benefits of the satin pillow case

I know tying your hair up at night – whether if it’s by using a satin or silk scarf or a satin bonnet – is a necessity, but I get tired of doing it. There are times where I’m so tired that I don’t feel like doing it or simply forget. Satin pillow cases take away all of that worry and stress.

Another thing that I experience is me sweating in my head at night. I live in the cold midwest, and winter is in full bloom with single digit temperatures, so of course that means the heat is running constantly in the house. Not only am I sweating because of a warm house, but also because of hormones. (I’m at that age, y’all.) When I was tying my hair up at night with scarves or using bonnets, my sweating would be awful because they held the heat in. I’d wake up in the morning and the back of my head would be drenched. Ugh.

The satin pillow case eliminates the extra sweating you guys. Yes I’m endorsing satin pillows cases because they have been a game changer for me. They are another form of hair freedom. Yaaaasssssss!! #ImHereForIt

Braids For Me = Steady Hair Growth

For four months I kept my hair in braids. Box braids to be exact, for two months at a time. Though I started my natural hair journey five years ago, my hair growth has been up and down, and it was all my fault. For one, though I did all the research before I went natural, I didn’t practice a solid haircare routine consistently to maintain my growth. I experienced breakage multiple times due to tight hair braiding, tension and pulling due to styling and not keeping my 4c hair properly moisturized. Basically, being a lazy natural.

There were many times in my blog where I expressed that my number one desire was for hair health versus length. After failing at hair health and realizing that being a lazy natural is not the way to go, I developed and have stuck to a more consistent hair care routine. One of the key components I’ve come to realize that work for me are braids.

First off, thank goodness my sister-in-law decided to learn how to do braids. She already has crochet braids on lock. I became her very willing guinea pig as she learned how to install box braids, and she does a great job. More importantly, she doesn’t braid tightly. So many braiders believe that tight equals neatness and longevity of the style. That is not true. I’m proof of it. With my sister-in-law braiding my hair, it has been growing faster than it ever has since I’ve been natural. The shedding I experience after taking them down is normal, and I’m determined to maintain my length.

Don’t listen to the critics who claim that we can grow our natural hair and maintain it’s length without the use of protective styles. We all have to do what works for us individually. No two heads of hair are alike, and there is nothing wrong with the use of wigs, weaves, extensions or braids as long as they are being used in healthy ways. It is important to let your hair breathe, which I am currently doing since taking my braids out a few days ago.

Peep the pics I’ve included, and please forgive me for looking quite busted in the natural hair pics! This was a spur of the moment post and I didn’t want to post this without photos of where my hair is without being blown out or straightened at the moment. Also, before I got my braids I had cut several inches off of my hair due to breakage, and my hair has grown back even more in those problem areas! #Progress

 

Natural Hair In Review – 2017

Every year I learn something new. New techniques, new natural things to use on my hair such as herbs and oils. While I may not have tried them all, they’ve definitely been added to my “to-do” or “wish” lists.

Lessons Regarding My Hair

The first important thing I’ve learned is to let go of the bad ends. I neglected to clip my ends for quite some time, and I paid for it. My afros,while big, looked scraggly. When I finally got rid of those bad ends, my afro looked healthy. Let go of the dead weight people. Don’t hang on to bad ends for the sake of length. It will always hurt you more in the end with the amount of hair that you end up having to cut.

The second important thing I learned about my hair is that it grows better when it’s braided or in some type of protective style. For a good portion of 2017, I wore my hair in its natural state. I let my fro fly free. While I enjoyed rockin’ my big hair, it became a chore at times. I felt pressured to find and try new styles that weren’t always good for my hair.

For one, the temptation to twist my hair into two strand twists or plaits every night to have fresh curls in the morning was something I had to fight against. Also, the temptation to semi-straighten/stretch my hair more than I should (in the attempt to try new styles) was also there.  Both things can cause breakage when done in excess, and after finally clipping my bad ends, more breakage is the last thing I want. I also noticed that my hair growth seemed slower when not in a protective style. Having observed all of these things about my hair, it’s time to listen to what it needs. I will be more diligent about my protective styles to promote healthy hair growth.

Lessons From The Natural Hair Community 

We have a long way to go with education, acceptance, confidence, support towards one another, and respect. While I’m happy to see many women making the change from chemical relaxers to natural hair, many of them need to be educated on African American hair so they can better understand their own hair. They need to learn our history about hair braiding, head wraps, designs, and why certain negative terms and views that date back to slavery and beyond still have a vice grip on many of us today that prevent us from seeing the true beauty of our hair. Educating yourself is one of the most important steps in your natural hair journey.

It makes me happy to see that there are so many natural hair events all over the states that celebrate all types of African American hair, and I hope to attend a few of them that are close to my neck of the woods. I’ve heard nothing but good things regarding those events, and we need more like them.

I’m going to continue to do my part by encouraging hair-positive messages in the natural hair community through my blog. My focus will be on the positive stories in the natural hair community and less on the negative ones. And as usual, I will continue to strive to take better care of my natural hair.

Thank you all for supporting my blog, and here’s to healthier hair in 2018!

Sonya

 

 

When The Creamy Crack Lures You Back

Hair is such a personal and emotional thing for women. We can wake up one morning and decide to cut it all off, dye it, wear a wig, get a sew in, or have it braided. It’s no different when it comes to having natural hair or having it chemically straightened with relaxers.

When I first started on my natural hair journey, I was like a sponge. I reached out to fellow naturalista’s and asked questions about their journey, what natural products did they use on their hair, etc. I was so excited and eager! Then I talked to those who were once natural but went back to the creamy crack, and it broke my heart. I couldn’t understand how that could happen because being natural is healthier, it’s liberating, it’s part of our culture. It’s the best thing ever…right? Well, that’s how I felt, and still feel. Fast forward a few years and I’ve come to realize, and respect, that not everyone falls in love with their natural hair. Natural hair is truly a struggle for some women.

For some, natural hair isn’t convenient because of the time it takes to care for and style it. It can also be expensive because of the plethora of products available in stores and on line for you to try, which can easily turn you into a product junkie. Others get disappointed when they can’t achieve the curly hair that they see promoted in advertising. I’ve also heard many times “My hair doesn’t act right natural.” There can be so many reasons why their hair doesn’t act right such as not having a healthy diet, not having a consistent hair care routine, or using products containing harsh chemicals. Maybe they aren’t keeping their hair properly moisturized. Whatever the reason, it’s making some women give up on their natural hair and go back to the creamy crack.

Hair relaxers were coined ‘creamy crack’ for a reason. It’s lure is powerful, and all it takes is one experience to become addicted. It offers convenience and versatility. You can apply it yourself or go to the beauty shop. It’s readily available, and it’s cheap – just like crack cocaine. The “high” that creamy crack offers lasts 3 – 4 weeks, sometimes longer depending on how you feel about having nappy roots (aka new growth). As with most drugs, the side effects of hair relaxers are awful: Scalp burns that often cause hair loss or permanent hair loss, breakage, and exposure to chemicals and toxins that get absorbed through our scalp and into our bodies that can cause a myriad of health issues. Despite the many cons of using hair relaxers, it’s still addictive and you come to depend on it, just like crack cocaine. I have firsthand knowledge since I was a hair relaxer addict for over 24 years.

In the end, I can understand why some do go back to the creamy crack. I have several friends who have big chopped many times, gone back to the creamy crack several times, all for various reasons. At the end of the day, we all have to do what is best for ourselves. But, knowing what I know now about chemical relaxers, and having watched Chris Rock’s documentary Good Hair, there’s no way I’ll go back to creamy crack. We’ve broken up for good.

 

Glutton For Punishment

Seriously. I don’t know why I insist on doing these spur of the moment, last minute things when it comes to my hair. This morning for an example, I decided at about 7 am to attempt the typical wash and go on my hair, not like the quick one I did two weeks ago. So I found a wash and go video on YouTube for a refresher and then tried to do it. I even went under the hooded dryer to dry my hair quicker versus letting it air dry.

Let me tell y’all…when I say my hair was a crunchy hot mess, I mean every word of that!! I’m laughing now as I remember how much of an epic FAIL my rushed, last minute wash and go was! First I co-washed. Then I used my leave in conditioner, a little oil, and gel. Normally that would work for your typical wash and go, right?

Here is the learning lesson: Before I attempted any of this, my hair was not pre-pooed, it was not well moisturized at all. It was very, very DRY. In order for your curls to pop and for a wash and go to work, you must keep your hair well moisturized. I had been quite lazy since my last wash. I semi-straightened my hair with the electric hair brush and have been wearing it that way ever since. I’ve been walking around with dry, stretched hair. Yes, I know better.

So, back to the sink I went to shampoo my hair after my failed wash and go attempt. With my hair soaking wet, I added my leave in, quickly oiled my scalp with my special oil blend, and put in my homemade whipped mango butter. I put my hair in a puff and got ready for work. My takeaway from all of this is I still have some work to do when it comes to getting my hair healthy and keeping it healthy. My laziness has once again come back to bite me in the butt. And we won’t even talk about the uneven hair I’ve noticed at the crown of my hair. Breakage. Again. This time I have a pretty good idea of what caused it. The head scarf I was using to tie my hair up at night. Sheesh…

Here is how I rolled in to work today. And it’s still wet. LOL! If you take nothing else from this, please let me be the lesson for what NOT to do! xoxo