Fourth Retie And Other Things I’ve Noticed

Time is flying by so fast and I never imagined it would. I was so anxious in the beginning of my sisterlocks journey but quickly realized that I needed to slow my roll and just let things happen. Here we are today, two weeks from my four month sisterlocks anniversary and I cannot believe so much time has gone by so far!

What I’m noticing

I’m noticing more budding and my locs are taking form more and more. I had some slippage in the back, but that was due to my last wash. I braided but forgot to band. And I used the sprayer on my sink to rinse. (I know, I know, shame on me). I’m also noticing growth. I feel hair on my neck more, and it’s starting to graze my back. I have to get used to that feeling because it feels like something is crawling on me and it freaks me out! I haven’t had long hair in YEARS people because I kept it short, and when I went natural, I wore afros and braid outs.

five week reties = progress

Now that I’m in my fourth month, my loctician decided to push my reties to every five weeks! YAY!!!!!! I’m very excited about this because it tells me that my locs are progressing and maturing. Also, I don’t mind having frizzy hair in between reties. Some women prefer that neat look, hence why they chose sisterlocks to begin with. But honestly, I don’t believe frequent reties is good for your hair. I’ve been reading about how frequent reties, which is essentially manipulating your hair, can weaken your hair and cause thinning or hair loss. I don’t know about you, but I’m trying to gain hair, not lose it!

apple cider vinegar (acv)and the loc community

Now let’s get to some other things that I’ve noticed in the loc world…

I want to preface what I’m about to say with I have blogged about some of these methods, but have always encouraged moderation. 

I’ve noticed in the loc’d community, especially sisterlocks, an obsession with apple cider vinegar washes/rinses/spritz’s to clean locs of all kinds (traditional, free form, sisterlocks, brotherlocks). I’ve used apple cider vinegar, or ACV, as a rinse when I was a loose natural after a baking soda wash every once in a blue moon. The combination of ACV and baking soda provided extra cleaning, shine, and it restores the pH balance of your hair and scalp.

Many don’t realize that ACV is full of acid. Overuse of anything with acid in it like ACV will eat at it, and that includes your hair.  ACV will eat at your hair and weaken your hair causing thinning and eventually ugly breakage. No one wants that.

What also concerns me is the shortcuts that many are willing to take all in the name of growing their locs overnight. It’s not gonna happen, boo. Nothing can replace time and patience, especially when you’re in the baby stages of your journey. Then there are those pushing hair growth tonics and oils and swearing that they work on locks that aren’t even mature. Whuuuttt??? You shouldn’t even be using oil if you have sisterlocks that aren’t mature! This leads me to my next topic:

Rice water rinse for growth

Rice water, which is essentially starch, is rich in minerals that are great for the hair. However, many do not know how to properly use this method. For instance, rice water is not meant to stay on your hair. You are supposed to rinse it off. If you leave fermented rice water on your hair, bacterial growth will happen, especially if you live in a warmer climate or if you work out with it on your hair. In more severe cases, you can develop a scalp infection. If you make your own rice water, it is only supposed to be kept for 24-48 hours. It will go bad. Unfermented rice water should only be left on your hair for 1-18 hours. Fermented rice water should only be left on your hair for 1-2 hours. And that’s pushing it! You can also buy organic fermented rice water. Google it. And be sure to check the shelf life.

Be careful of trends

Though rice water is something that has been used for centuries by women in Japanese and Indian cultures for hair growth and shiny hair, it is important to know the what, why and how of this method. Don’t get triggered by hearing the words “hair growth” and then run to try the newest thing trending. I’ve been guilty of doing this myself in the past but having sisterlocks make me think twice about putting anything other than water in my hair. I haven’t used rose water on my locs in over two months. I simply don’t see the need for it. I also don’t want anything interrupting my locking process and setting me back instead of moving forward.

Always consult with your loctician and do your research

I strongly encourage you to speak with your loctician before you try anything that is the current fad in the loc or natural hair community. Also, conduct your own research before you do anything else. Don’t just take the word of a Youtuber or someone who’ve had locs for so many years or months thinking they are an expert. Rather, investigate for yourself to see if these claims are true or have merit. Have they been proven true scientifically? Google Scholar is a great resource for this kind of investigative research.

Don’t learn your lesson the hard way if you don’t have to. Your loctician will appreciate not having to clean up any messes or try to repair damaged locs because of bad, misinformed decisions that you’ve made. Or worse yet, telling you that you need to cut your locs and start over. Trust the process and be patient. It will pay off sooner than you think.

Happy Four Month Sisterlocks-Versary to MEEEEE!!!

XOXO

2018 In Review – My Natural Hair Journey

2018 is coming to a close with a lot of lessons learned and major changes when it comes to my natural hair journey. I started the year still wearing braids even though I was getting tired of them. Around the end of spring and the beginning of summer, I decided to stop wearing braids as a protective style and just rock my afro. After doing that for the entire summer, I realized I needed a change.

Discovering sisterlocks

On Pinterest, my eyes were always drawn to locs, and not just the faux locs, but the permanent ones. That’s when I realized that the change I was seeking was a permanent change, something that offered me hair freedom and versatility. That’s when  I discovered Sisterlocks. After a few months of research and serious thought and financial planning (lol!) because sisterlocks are truly an investment, I had a consultation in September and had them installed in November. The rest, as they say, is history. Click on the link to check out my Natural Hair and Locs Pinterest page.

If you would have asked me in 2017 if I’d ever get locs, let alone Sisterlocks, I probably would have said: “I don’t know.” A year ago I was content with getting braids over and over and then complaining about bald spots and breakage in my blog. 😉 With age comes enlightenment, and it came for me in 2018. I got tired of  stressing about how I was going to wear my hair and what I needed to do to prepare it the night before (i.e. twist it, braid it, plaits, stretching or banding, etc.) In 2018, I came to the conclusion that I needed ease and convenience when it comes to my natural hair – not anxiety and stress.

A new Journey and YouTube

A new chapter in my ever-evolving natural hair journey began, and I had the same familiar feeling of excitement, fear, nervousness, and boldness as I did when I big chopped six years ago. It takes just as much courage to get locs as it does going natural. It’s a total lifestyle change. It’s hair freedom. But it also has it’s bumpy parts for some in the beginning stages. I went through it myself, and thankfully, it was short-lived.

My sisterlocks journey also made me rethink vlogging on YouTube. I decided to start my own channel and document my sisterlocks journey from deciding to get them, my consultation, and installation until now. My videos are simple with no bells or whistles. I keep saying that one day I’m going to get more up to speed with editing and making “cuter” videos. It hasn’t happened, and I hope that doesn’t stop you from checking out my videos! I’m sharing some good stuff, y’all! Click on the link to check out my YouTube channel.

2018 – the year of change

2018 was a good year, if not one of my best years in my natural hair journey. Don’t get me wrong, I loved and enjoyed my loose natural hair. But I’m also a woman whose needs to continue to change as I age. I’m also a woman of action, and when I feel a need for change, I act. I encourage anyone reading this to do the same. If something no longer works for you or doesn’t feel right, do something about it. Make a change. Continue to evolve – don’t become stagnant. Your change doesn’t have to be major. It can be minor but have a huge impact. DO SOMETHING.

Today, I feel empowered. I feel strong. I feel free of the constant worry and stress I had as a loose natural. It took me over five years to finally go natural. When I finally did it, I hated that I waited so long to do it! It took me less than three months to decide to get sisterlocks. Again, I wish I had done it sooner. I’m not saying that you should make big decisions hastily, but if you wait too long, you may never do it. I’ll never regret going natural, and I’ll never regret getting locs. Natural hair is beautiful in all its forms.

Bring on 2019

For 2019 I look forward to healthier hair and learning more about my hair as it progresses and goes through the locking process. May 2019 bring us all the clarity we need to make the necessary changes in our lives. And may all of us attain healthy, beautiful natural hair no matter how we decide to wear it.

Thank you to all of my followers, old and new. Thank you for riding with me in my journey. I appreciate you all so much!

It’s My One Month Sisterlocks Anniversary!!

YAYYY me!! I made a YouTube video about it, so check it out here!!

Fake 4c Naturals? Let’s Talk About It!

Issa thing, y’all.

First, this blog post was inspired by YouTube vlogger KandidKinks video that spoke on this very subject.  Click on the link to watch.

Do you really have 4c hair, sis?

To be completely honest, when I started my natural hair journey and began doing my research, I saw a lot of natural hair bloggers or vloggers who claimed to have 4c hair OR type 4 hair that had me like “Hmmm…are you sure, sis? Your hair looks NOTHING like mine!” But I rolled with it because I was still learning (shoulder shrug). Fast forward a couple of years and I still never really spoke on it, but the skepticism was still in the dark recesses of my mind. When I started my natural hair journey I had the mindset of ‘let’s support one another and be encouraging because we’re all in this natural hair thing together.’ I didn’t want to leave room for any negativity. I was adorably naive. I say that because even though that was and still is my mindset, I quickly found out that is not the case within the natural hair community. There is a huge divide among us, and I hate it. But that’s a story for another day. And I’ve blogged about it many times.

However…

It was a total fluke that I stumbled upon KandidKinks video. I was doing my usual YouTube perusing one night, and the title of her video “Stop lying to 4c women for views..A vegan Mukbang rant” got my immediate attention. So let’s get into it.

The elephant in the room

As I stated earlier, I’ve had my suspicions for a long time, but I just rolled with it.  Now it’s time to acknowledge the elephant in the room. There are bloggers and vloggers (I’m not going to call any names) who have made coins off of claiming to have 4c hair when they clearly do not. In turn, these so-called natural hair experts have less informed women (and men) who are seeking guidance and help, thinking they can get the same curly, loose definition as a 3a, 3b, or even a 4a natural by using certain products or methods. Not only is this all kinds of wrong, but it is extremely misleading and doing the natural hair community, especially those with 4c hair, a huge disservice.

I’ve been preaching since the day I started this natural hair blog: LEARN TO ACCEPT YOUR HAIR FOR WHAT IT IS AND FOR WHAT IT CAN AND CANNOT DO! How can anyone accept their natural hair when there are wolves in sheep’s clothing conning them with snake oil? There is no magic product or oil that will magically turn your 4c hair into 4a or 3b hair with loose bouncy curls!

educate yourself so you can accept your hair type

In order to accept your natural hair, whatever type you may have, you must educate yourself. Find out your hair type and characteristics. Do research on your hair type. Use Google. Talk to natural hair professionals if you can. Start with your natural haired friends and family if you have any. Talk to them. Ask them about their hair care routines. What products do they use? Find people with hair that looks like yours on YouTube, Pinterest, and follow them. Let them inspire you. The same way you researched and learned about your hair type, you must do the same when it comes to products. Research what hair moisturizers work best for your hair. Research what natural oils work best for your hair type.

Find what works for you and be patient

After doing those things, take all the information you’ve gathered and sift through them. Try some of the suggestions and see what your hair likes and doesn’t like, and tweak it to fit your needs. Because no two heads of hair are alike, Brenda’s hair care routine may not work for you the same as it works for her. Find what works for you and go with that. But know that the further you get in your natural hair journey, you will find that you may have to tweak things for your hair several times, and that is completely normal.

Above all else, be patient. It’s a process, and it’s important that you develop a relationship with your natural hair. Learn to love your hair – the good and the bad that comes with it. Embrace your hair. Once you do that, there won’t be any room left for anyone to con you into believing that you should follow them or waste money on products that won’t work on your hair.

Natural Hair In Review – 2017

Every year I learn something new. New techniques, new natural things to use on my hair such as herbs and oils. While I may not have tried them all, they’ve definitely been added to my “to-do” or “wish” lists.

Lessons Regarding My Hair

The first important thing I’ve learned is to let go of the bad ends. I neglected to clip my ends for quite some time, and I paid for it. My afros,while big, looked scraggly. When I finally got rid of those bad ends, my afro looked healthy. Let go of the dead weight people. Don’t hang on to bad ends for the sake of length. It will always hurt you more in the end with the amount of hair that you end up having to cut.

The second important thing I learned about my hair is that it grows better when it’s braided or in some type of protective style. For a good portion of 2017, I wore my hair in its natural state. I let my fro fly free. While I enjoyed rockin’ my big hair, it became a chore at times. I felt pressured to find and try new styles that weren’t always good for my hair.

For one, the temptation to twist my hair into two strand twists or plaits every night to have fresh curls in the morning was something I had to fight against. Also, the temptation to semi-straighten/stretch my hair more than I should (in the attempt to try new styles) was also there.  Both things can cause breakage when done in excess, and after finally clipping my bad ends, more breakage is the last thing I want. I also noticed that my hair growth seemed slower when not in a protective style. Having observed all of these things about my hair, it’s time to listen to what it needs. I will be more diligent about my protective styles to promote healthy hair growth.

Lessons From The Natural Hair Community 

We have a long way to go with education, acceptance, confidence, support towards one another, and respect. While I’m happy to see many women making the change from chemical relaxers to natural hair, many of them need to be educated on African American hair so they can better understand their own hair. They need to learn our history about hair braiding, head wraps, designs, and why certain negative terms and views that date back to slavery and beyond still have a vice grip on many of us today that prevent us from seeing the true beauty of our hair. Educating yourself is one of the most important steps in your natural hair journey.

It makes me happy to see that there are so many natural hair events all over the states that celebrate all types of African American hair, and I hope to attend a few of them that are close to my neck of the woods. I’ve heard nothing but good things regarding those events, and we need more like them.

I’m going to continue to do my part by encouraging hair-positive messages in the natural hair community through my blog. My focus will be on the positive stories in the natural hair community and less on the negative ones. And as usual, I will continue to strive to take better care of my natural hair.

Thank you all for supporting my blog, and here’s to healthier hair in 2018!

Sonya

 

 

Breakage…again!

I did not want to have to blog about breakage again, but here we go. I already know the cause of it:

1. Not protective styling enough
2. Becoming lazy when caring for my hair
3. Using too much heat (blow dryer & straightening brush)
4. Not moisturizing enough

It’s all shameful because I know better. I know better. However, I took a break from getting my hair braided this winter and I’m paying for it. I became a very lazy natural and now I have breakage as a result towards the back of my head. I noticed more than the usual shedding and unevenness. I have no one to blame but myself, and I know what needs to be done to fix it. I need to do the opposite of all four things I listed above!

I’m going to cut off as much breakage as possible (try to even out my hair back there), give it some extra TLC, and then get my hair braided. It’s time, it’s been almost six months since I’ve been to the shop to have my hair braided. I tried faux loc crochet braids recently (see picture below) but could only tolerate them for almost three weeks because the synthetic hair made my scalp itch horribly! But they were cute! As always, I’ll keep you posted on my breakage saga. 😦

This…

…speaks volumes and sums up my feelings on my natural hair journey.

Love of Self + Culture = Love of Natural Hair

For the past few months I’ve been reading and hearing disturbing accounts of black women being shamed or made to feel ugly because of the darkness of their skin, the kinkiness of their hair, the fullness of their lips or noses, or the curviness and voluptuousness of their bodies. This isn’t just happening in America, it’s happening in Brazil, Cuba, Africa, Jamaica, the Dominican Republic – any place where there are darker hued people. To me, it’s a reminder of how deeply rooted racism, colorism, and self hate really is. In Louisiana for an example, it is a fact of life that those deemed Creole, who are basically light skinned (might as well throw in “with good hair”) do not associate with those who are darker skinned. They won’t even allow a darker skinned person in a photo with them, let alone stand up in their wedding! In 2016 this is still happening, and it blows my mind.

In Brazil, there’s a young woman named Nayara Justino who is a model and actress. She made history by being the first dark skinned woman named Carnival Queen. Sadly, she was stripped of her title because of the racist outrage over her dark skin. The people wanted the tradition to continue of only crowning a lighter skinned Brazilian woman. This poor woman was called every racist name in the book on social media, and the judges cowardly caved into the public outcry and stripped her of her crown and giving Nayara no reason for doing so. Much later they denied taking her crown because of the color of her skin, even though everyone knows that’s exactly the reason why. Let’s be real – if the public never had a problem with her being Carnival Queen, she’d still have her crown, right? Right.

I hate hearing and reading about these things, but I’m glad for social media because without it we’d never hear about these things happening. Mainstream media never report about these types of things because they want you to believe that the world isn’t as racist as it is. Well you’d have to be living under a rock to not know that racism in America and in other countries is alive and well. It’s this narrow-minded thinking that keeps black women and women of color from loving everything about themselves. This is why it’s so hard for women to even attempt to love their natural  kinky, coily hair because all they hear and see on tv and in print ads is that straight, long hair is the only hair that is beautiful, and it’s the only hair you should want. Curls and kinks are ugly, unkempt looking, and wild. Just writing this makes me cringe at how ridiculous this thinking is, but it’s out there and the roots run deep in the minds of many black women and black men.

Recently I watched the documentary The Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution on PBS. During the 1960’s and 1970’s there was a call for black pride because of the hideous racism and persecution taking place against blacks at the hands of white people. Loving ourselves, our culture, skin color, and natural hair were just some of things that were encouraged by the Black Panther Party. Seeing all of those beautiful, natural afros of various sizes, textures, and colors in this documentary made me smile. It made me swell with pride because all of these people looked like me, they had hair like me and they wore it proudly. After the demise of The Black Panther Party, that pride in our natural hair  practically disappeared as chemical relaxers and Jheri Curls took over. Fast forward to today and you have black women once again saying no to putting harmful chemicals in their hair and yes to proudly wearing their natural hair. Many call it a movement, others call it a fad. Ask the manufactures of chemical relaxers and beauty salons about their sales for the past ten years and they’ll tell you it’s not a fad. Today, women are more informed and aware of the harmful side affects that chemical relaxers cause. There is a plethora of information all over the internet at our disposal to educate ourselves with. So no, this is not a fad. This is a lifestyle change and natural hair is here to stay.

Collectively as women, we need to help and encourage each other whether if we are natural or not. Don’t look down on those who aren’t natural, be encouraging. Remember, most of us were addicted to the creamy crack for many years too! Don’t preach to them, be informative. Compliment one another and be an example. Be willing to discuss your hair journey if given the opportunity. Your story could help someone else make that final decision to go natural.  Before I went natural, when I would see black women rocking their afros, afro puffs, or twist outs, I always felt their hair was beautiful. I felt a sense of pride seeing them rock their natural hair because I always felt our natural hair is beautiful. I wouldn’t hesitate to compliment them and tell them how beautiful their hair was. Then I had to look at myself and ask “If you know natural hair is beautiful and it’s healthier for you, what’s keeping you from going natural?” I had no answer, and I had no excuse because there was nothing holding me back. My daughters were natural, so again, what was holding me back? Nothing. I got educated and I took the plunge. I big chopped.

There is nothing wrong with loving our culture. There is nothing wrong with loving our blackness. And there is definitely nothing wrong with loving ourselves and our natural hair.

 

Embrace Your Natural Tresses

 

When I started this blog, I posted about how important it is to embrace your natural hair in order to love it and feel comfortable with it. I know that doesn’t come easy for everyone, which is why it’s important that you’re absolutely sure that this is the journey you want to embark on. It’s easy to say you’re all in and then feel overwhelmed once the process really starts to happen. Trust me, I’ve been there. When I big chopped I LOVED having the super short hair and being able to wash and go and not having to fuss with my hair much, if at all. Then it started to grow. Slowly. It seemed like it took forever for it to grow to the point where I could do twist outs and I became frustrated, but I stuck with it. I loved my fro, and I loved my natural hair.

I’m saying all of this because I had a doctors appointment recently where the nurse who was taking care of me complimented me on my hair and asked me what I do to maintain it. She then related that she had been natural for a year but keeps her hair covered up with wigs. She knows that’s not good either, and I told her “Yes, you need to let your hair breathe.” She wanted to know what products to use and how to style her hair. I began to tell her what I use which is natural, organic oils and butters. I told her to rock a twist out and she said “But what if I want to go out and I want to straighten my hair? Other naturals tell me to stay away from heat though.” I said “Yes, it’s best to try to keep the heat out of your hair, but there are those who flat iron their hair or straighten it with a straightening comb. That’s totally up to you if you want to do that, but know that heat can be damaging.” Then she kept saying that she thinks natural hair looks good on other people but not herself.

That’s when I told her that she has to give her natural hair a chance because she’ll never embrace it and learn to love it if she’s always covering it up with a wig. I encouraged her to rock her fro and rock it with some big hoop earrings. Again she stated she was scared that it wouldn’t look right on her. <PAUSE> How on earth does ones natural hair not look right? This is what relaxers and straightening combs have done to us. We don’t even know that our natural tresses are beautiful because we’ve been brainwashed to believe that only straight hair is beautiful! If I had more time to talk to her, I would have asked her WHY she went natural to begin with. Did she do it because she thinks it’s “in” right now? Did she do it because she knows it’s what is healthier for her? Either way she’s struggling with accepting her natural hair and that made me feel…sad.

If I had the time to speak with her a little longer I would have encouraged her to do her research. Go to YouTube and look for how-to videos of how to care for, maintain, and style her hair type and length. I also would have encouraged her to research and educate herself on the different natural and organic oils and butters that are excellent for our hair and scalp. Education is key to loving your natural hair. I can’t stress that enough. I did a ton of research before I went natural, after I went natural, and I continue to do research now that I’m three years natural. Never stop educating yourself about your hair, but before you take the plunge into the natural world, educate yourself as much as possible. Find out your hair type. Some people hate hair typing, but for me it helped knowing my hair type(s) because I quickly realized that I have different grades of hair in my head. It will also determine what products and oils you can or cannot use in your hair.

Finally, once you’ve educated yourself, it’ll help you to embrace and appreciate your natural hair for what it can and cannot do. Not all hair is meant to curl up and be bouncy when you walk. Not all hair is going to hang freely. Just because a product says it’ll make your hair curl doesn’t mean it’s true for your hair. Take the time to get to know your hair. Once you do that, you will learn to love, embrace, and appreciate your natural tresses.

Coconut Oil is Back in my Life

 

Last year I read a lot of blogs and articles about why coconut oil is suddenly bad for your hair and scalp. It made me raise an eyebrow because I know of the many health benefits of coconut oil, especially for your hair and scalp. However, I did take a break from using coconut oil – but not because of those articles. During the summer I took a short sabbatical from using coconut oil in my hair care regimen and used mostly my mango butter mixture (which actually had coconut oil in it still 😉 ), Jamaican Black Castor Oil, pumpkin seed oil, and olive oil. I took the break from coconut oil because I’ve found that during the summer, the hot temperatures made my hair feel crunchy, dry, and hard when I used coconut oil on it. But during the winter, my hair LOVES coconut oil and it NEEDS it to keep it soft and manageable.

So I ask the question: How can something that’s been used on the hair and scalp for thousands of years by men and women alike, from various cultures all over the world suddenly be bad for your hair ? If you wash your hair regularly (and by regularly I mean whatever schedule you have set up) and use a clarifying shampoo that will get all the oils out, you should be fine! There are too many health benefits to your skin, scalp, and hair to completely dismiss coconut oil, but you must do what is best for you. The naysayers are saying that oils, heavy oils in particular, are bad, they clog your pores, they stump your hair growth, but this is only true if you use these oils excessively and you don’t wash your hair regularly with a clarifying shampoo. It is a known fact that African American hair NEEDS OIL of some kind. I know there are naturals out there who swear by not using oils on their hair, and their hair is thriving and growing. Kudos to you if you’re one of them! As someone with 4c type hair that is kinky and coily and naturally dry, I need oil. And for me, I can’t have just any oil. I need the heavier oils.

The moral of the story is this: Don’t be afraid to switch up your oils or to try new oils. Natural, organic oils have many benefits. If you’re not allergic to any of them, use them. Don’t let blogs and other people’s personal opinions or experiences keep you from using something that has always worked for you. Your 4c hair may not like what my 4c hair likes. Her 3c hair probably can’t tolerate the heavier oils like her 4b hair can. Our bodies are made up differently, and our hair will never be “one size fits all” when it comes to products and oils. With that being said, coconut oil is definitely back in my life. As a matter of fact, I just ordered some from Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/Carrington-Farms-Organic-Virgin-Coconut/dp/B008P0BG7I/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1454005764&sr=8-2&keywords=carrington+farms+coconut+oil

And I finally purchased some aloe vera gel!

http://www.amazon.com/Aubrey-Organics-Pure-Aloe-Vera/dp/B00013YZ0C/ref=sr_1_17?ie=UTF8&qid=1454005968&sr=8-17&keywords=aloe+vera+gel

Yes the gel is a bit pricey for that little bottle, but it’s supposed to be a really good quality product so I’m giving it a try! My scalp needs all the healing help it can get!!