Lack of Professionalism Amongst Locticians & Hair Stylists

You all know my pain of running into the wrong hair stylists when I was still getting creamy crack, and running into the wrong locticians once I locked my hair. You throw in a full blown pandemic and it’s just a free for all. I’ve allowed too many people in my head while searching for the “perfect” loctician (there’s no such thing in my city) to care for my locs. I used to come down hard on myself for this – and I really don’t know why because its not my fault. And this ultimately led me to the conclusion that it’s not me, but its those who are licensed professionals that are the problem.

The pandemic brought out a lot of opportunists when it comes to black hair care – especially in the loc community. All of a sudden people are claiming to know how to start locs, do retwists and reties, and care for locs. There’s been price gouging across the board and shotty, criminal work done to unknowing and unsuspecting people’s hair. I’ve heard and read so many horror stories and have shared my horror stories as well. But when you get down to the nitty gritty of being a business owner and being professional, that’s where things really get bad. Why, you may ask?

Those who do hair strictly for the money tend to be the worst offenders of unprofessional behavior, and they are the ones you need to run from. Unfortunately you don’t typically find this out about them until you’ve experienced their services. Those who do hair strictly for the money do not care about the health of your hair, does not have enough hair knowledge and only knows how to style or do certain things. They also don’t care about you or your time. They don’t think twice about inconveniencing you, cancelling on you, double or triple booking you in their appointments that will keep you in their shop all day. They only care about your money. They don’t care if they’ve done shotty work on your hair. Yes, they are running a business, but they run their business as if they are a street hustler. And what do street hustlers care about? Themselves.

I’ve seen this type of behavior in older and younger generation stylists and locticians and it’s sad. Just recently I had a new loctician whom I’ve only been to once, cancel on me an hour before my appointment. This young lady (she’s younger than my oldest child) did not apologize, did not offer any type of alternative accommodations to me since she inconvenienced me, and was not helpful at all when it came to rescheduling. Her nasty and very wrong and unprofessional attitude radiated through her text messages. Not to mention, her reason for the cancelation was total B.S.! I was livid. I was more livid at the unprofessionalism she displayed, the lack of caring or awareness of the position she put me in. What if I needed my hair done for an event? What if I was going out of town? What if that day and time was the only time I had available to get my hair done for months? She didn’t care because it was all about her and what she wanted to do and didn’t want to do.

It took me a while to calm down. I had to chalk this up to her being young and dumb and not being taught or simply not caring about how she should treat others, especially new clients. All I kept thinking was “This chick clearly doesn’t want my money.” She’s not just doing my hair, she’s doing my daughter’s hair as well! That’s over $200 combined, including tip! I don’t get it and I feel like I’m in the twilight zone. If there are certain things you don’t want to do when it comes to your business then don’t offer it! It’s that simple! She knew what I wanted done from my first appointment with her because I told her! She was all like “Oh okay, I can do that for you!” So I book the appointment, and again, she knew weeks in advance what I wanted and she ACCEPTED the appointment, took the down payment through her booking app only to cancel on me an hour before. I could have raised all kinds of hell, and looking back I should have and demanded my deposit back!

What kept me from going off right away was the fact that I was giving her the benefit of the doubt and I was waiting for her to show some accommodation and professionalism to me since she was the one doing the canceling – and she showed none. That’s where my anger came in. I was supposed to get a retwist and color. I was super excited about this, I told a few people that I was getting some color and then to have my appointment canceled was just deflating. But the reason why it was canceled and then to not be offered anything to make up for it – I was blown away. Why do I always come across these kinds of people?

The sad part about all of this is this young lady is good at what she does. She does very neat and pristine work and she’s fast. I was very impressed with her the first time I went to her and felt like she could be the one that I stick with from here on out. Listen…I know people aren’t perfect. I know people mess up – myself included. My husband kept pointing this out to me, telling me that this was just a first time offense on her part. But he has to understand (and remember) that I’ve been burned by a lot of people on my three year loc journey. So yes, I’m very gun shy and sensitive when it comes to stuff like this. Not only that, but I’m a stickler for professionalism and kindness in all areas of life. When you have your own business and you’re licensed, you especially should be going out of your way to be professional because that’s your livelihood! Word of mouth can make or break you!

I very reluctantly rescheduled with her for this coming Saturday. My daughter also has an appointment for the morning and mine isn’t until later in the afternoon. I’m no longer getting color – at least not by her – and am only getting my retwist. I will have to find someone else to do my color because clearly she doesn’t want my money. I’ve also resigned myself to the fact that we live in a very different world today. What I would do, how I treat people, and what I expect is not what I will receive in return. We live in a very selfish, angry, ‘it’s all about me first’ society. Professionalism, common courtesy, manners, and basic social norms when it comes to interacting with human beings are a thing of the past for a lot of people – older and younger generations. This really saddens me.

Normally I would have made a video about my most recent horrible experience, but instead I decided to write about it. I truly believe it’s where I live and the fact that the city I live in is very small and there isn’t a big community of professional locticians. There are many who work out of their homes, and there are those who work out of shops. I’ve had to rely mostly on word of mouth because not everyone advertise their services, especially on social media. I found a group for people to find locticians in my area and again the majority that I see work out of their home. I’m not going to a strangers home to get my hair done while dealing with a pandemic and not knowing their vaccination status. Many will lie and say they are vaccinated when they are not AND won’t wear a mask. I trust no one in these streets. But that’s just me.

Once again I’m contemplating doing my own retwists or having my sister in law do my retwists for me if I can’t find the right person to do my retwist on a regular basis. This is the ugly underbelly of having locs. I want to be pampered. I like being pampered. But the unprofessionalism in the loc community is putting a huge damper on that.

Hair Dye, Relaxers And The Increased Cancer Risk For Black Women

On Wednesday, December 4th, 2019, there was an article published stating that hair dye and chemical relaxers increases the risk of breast cancer in women, but especially in black women by a whopping 9%. If you haven’t read the article, here it is: https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/12/04/784838430/hair-dye-and-straightener-use-linked-to-higher-cancer-risk-especially-for-black-

The truth about relaxers

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The harmful effects of chemical relaxers: Breakage, scarring, and permanent hair loss.

This article and it’s findings is alarming yet not surprising. Relaxers are made of very harsh chemicals, even if there isn’t any lye in them. Some of the main chemicals used in hair relaxers are sodium hydroxide, ammonium thioglycolate, and sodium thioglycolate. The fact that these chemicals have been tested and proven to eat through and melt various metals should frighten us. (See Chris Rock’s movie Good Hair) When relaxers are left on our hair and scalp too long, guess what happens? Our scalp burns, and once it heals, you’re left with ugly scabs and patches and loss of hair. When you do this continuously over the course of decades, imagine the damage done to our bodies inside and out? Our body is absorbing these chemicals, and these chemicals are damaging our insides. No one should be surprised at the rise of fibroid tumors, endometriosis, permanent hair loss, and cancer in black women who use chemical relaxers and hair dyes on a regular basis.

An attack on black women and their hair

I’ve read some interesting opinions about this study, and there are those who have stated that the findings was ‘yet another attack on black women and their hair.’ I totally disagree. This article is bringing attention to a problem that still permeates the black community: The dangerous things black women do to have straight hair. More importantly, why we still feel that in order for our hair to be pretty it has to be straight. Also, why aren’t we teaching our young girls that their natural hair is beautiful and enough?

I hate that we’re still willing to overlook doing things that have been proven to be unhealthy for us. We’d rather keep doing things that we know are harmful to our bodies because we’ve been taught that straight hair is the standard of beauty. Basically, we refuse to see the beauty in our natural hair. That is very sad to me. I know women who would rather die than let their natural hair show. The idea of showing their natural hair to the world gives them anxiety. That’s how deep the issue of straight hair versus natural or ‘nappy’ hair is in the black community.

There is no judgment from me as to whether if you choose to get chemical relaxers or have natural hair. The choices we make in life all have consequences. We know eating junk food is bad for our health, yet many of us still eat it, myself included. It’s been proven for years that there are harmful chemicals in junk food that contribute to poor health and preventable diseases. On the flip side, there are numerous reports and studies that show that healthier fruits and vegetables claiming to be organic aren’t organic. Harmful pesticides are still being used on fruits and vegetables that in turn, make us sick. Chemicals are in everything. However, we do have some control over what we put on and into our bodies. We don’t have to use chemical relaxers or hair dyes. We don’t have to eat foods that we know are bad for us. So when we know better, why is it so hard to do better?

Change is hard

Change can be hard. We all know this. Regardless of color, we tend to do things out of habit, tradition, or what we’ve been told and taught. The same goes for black women and straightening their hair. We grew up getting our hair straightened with straightening combs or ‘hot combs.’ When we got a little older, we were introduced to chemical relaxers. Unfortunately, some have been introduced to chemical relaxers at very young ages, some as young as three years old. But WHY?

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African Queens and Princesses

We can’t have this discussion without going back to where this all originated, which is slavery. Our ancestors where kings and queens, princes and princesses in Africa. Our hair was worn in regal, intricate styles that told important stories of what tribe we belonged to, who our family was, and if we were of royal descent or not. When we were kidnapped and shipped to the United States, we were stripped of our identity and heritage. Our hair was shaved off. When we still found ways to braid and adorn our hair, laws were put in place where we legally had to keep our hair covered with rags and scarves. We were told that our hair was nappy, kinky, unkempt and ugly. All of these terms were meant to degrade our hair.

Imagine being taught that your hair was beautiful, regal, something to be proud of. Then one day, you’re forcibly taken to a new country and forced into slavery, and told that your hair and your heritage is not beautiful and has no meaning. Many lengths are taken to strip you of your identity. Instead you’re taught that only straight, blonde or brunette hair is beautiful. And over time, you believe this because it has been literally beaten into you, and you in turn pass this down to your children, grandchildren, and so forth. And here we are today.

Wake up call

Articles like this should be a wake up call to the African American community. We should be moved to do better, to educate, and to advocate for natural hair. There are so many things that affect us disproportionately more than any other racial group, and our health is at the top of the list. It doesn’t have to be this way. We can do things to better our health, to give ourselves a chance to live longer, healthier lives. This includes how we care for our hair.

Natural Kids Hair Salon in Richmond, VA

More education on natural hair, how to take care of it and maintain it from birth into adulthood is desperately needed. I feel there should be college courses or resources offered specifically geared towards educating ones on natural African American hair and how to care for it. There needs to be more natural hair salons that offer classes to mothers, fathers, caregivers, non-African American couples who have adopted black children on how to care for African American children’s hair. There is a strong need for education in our community, and if there were more resources in every community, I truly believe more people would see how beautiful natural hair is, and how natural hair is the best option for their overall health.

What are your thoughts on this article’s findings on the connection between chemical relaxers and hair dyes and the increased cancer risk in African American women? I want to hear from you!

“Natural Hair Isn’t For Everybody”

Recently I was in a group conversation on Facebook where the topic was receiving negative comments about your natural hair. For an example, the young lady who started the post said that her workmate told her “You natural hair is cute.” But as she walked away she muttered under her breath to her other workmates “Natural hair ain’t for everybody.” The young lady took this as a backhanded compliment and posed the question in her post “What does that even mean that natural hair isn’t for everybody? That doesn’t even make sense to me.”

unsolicited opinions

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve experienced this from other women whether if they were strangers, family members, workmates, nurses or doctors at the doctors office. And the majority of the comments were in this same negative manner. There were a few on the Facebook post who tried to defend the comments by stating that maybe the woman was just speaking for herself because she knows with her lifestyle she wouldn’t have the time to take care of her natural hair and we shouldn’t be judging her for stating her opinion. This is where I completely disagree.

The majority of the time these comments were made to me, they were unsolicited. These people stopped me to compliment me or stopped me to inquire about my natural hair. They offered their opinion but at the same time projected their negativity about natural hair onto me. That is not okay. First, I didn’t ask for your opinion, nor did I ask for the negative way that you expressed it. But this is what people tend to do when they don’t fully understand something. They project their insecurities and fears on you as if you’re doing something wrong.

Ask questions to spark positive conversation

There is a way to have positive conversation when you don’t understand something. How you say it can illicit positive or negative feelings. For one, ask questions if you don’t know. I’ve had many positive interactions with strangers who have stopped me in the grocery store to ask about my hair. Many were thinking about going natural and didn’t know where to start or were simply afraid. I use that opportunity to explain what I did and how I did it and also encourage them to not be afraid. But when you approach someone and give them a compliment about their hair, but end it with unnecessary negativity, then no, it’s not appreciated. Why can’t we as women be kinder to each other? It really bugs me. Going natural is not an easy thing to do. It takes courage, patience, and a whole lot of self love and tough skin. The last thing any of us need is thoughtless words and discouragement.

why the negativity?

Let’s get to the bottom of the negativity.

It has been my experience that those who have negative feelings toward natural hair feel this way because:

1. They believe the lie that natural hair, nappy or kinky hair, is bad and ugly hair. They feel that only hair straightened with a straightening comb or chemical relaxer is pretty.
2. They fear the opinion of others, mainly the ones who taught them that natural hair is bad, which is family members and friends.
3. They think natural hair is hard to care for and is a hassle.
4. They feel relaxed hair, no matter how damaged or how long it is, is better and easier to deal with.
5. They don’t have the time to deal with their natural hair.
6. They don’t want to deal with their natural hair.
7. They want to go natural and admire those who go natural, but are too afraid to do so. (Refer back to #2)

I could go on and on about the reasons why people have negative feelings toward natural hair. And when I say ‘people’ I mean BLACK people. Let’s be completely honest here – a lot of the negative feelings date back to slavery times when slaves were made to feel that their natural hair was nappy, kinky, and unkempt all because it was different than straight blonde or brunette hair found on white people.

Our hair was forcibly cut and shaved. Black women were forced to cover their hair. As if that weren’t enough, distinctions were made between “good hair” and “nappy hair” based on hair texture. Looser curls were deemed good hair, especially when you were of mixed heritage due to slave masters raping female slaves. This distinction has unfortunately been passed on from one generation to the next. Light skinned and mixed heritage with loose curly hair equals good hair. Dark skin with tightly coiled hair equals nappy or bad hair.

break the cycle

We have to break the cycle of negative stereotypes when it comes to natural hair among black people. I find it funny that so many claim that their natural hair is too rough or too difficult to deal with when they haven’t even seen their natural hair since they were three or four years old because that’s hold old they were when they started getting relaxers! They simply believe what their mothers and grandmothers have told them about their hair. I started getting relaxers when I was 15 years old. I didn’t know my hair type before I got it. I didn’t know if I had high or low porosity hair or hair density. I didn’t find out any of these things until I went natural six years ago and had to learn these things about my hair. You can’t knock something if you haven’t tried it.

I say all of this to say my natural hair journey is my own. Natural hair may not be your jam at this particular moment, or perhaps ever. But it’s also not okay to project your negative feelings on others either. If you feel a certain way about natural hair, find a more positive way to have an open discussion about your feelings. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, then maybe you shouldn’t say anything at all.

And for the record, natural hair is for everybody. It’s what God created you with. It’s how it grows out of your scalp. How you choose to wear it is up to you.

When The Creamy Crack Lures You Back

Hair is such a personal and emotional thing for women. We can wake up one morning and decide to cut it all off, dye it, wear a wig, get a sew in, or have it braided. It’s no different when it comes to having natural hair or having it chemically straightened with relaxers.

When I first started on my natural hair journey, I was like a sponge. I reached out to fellow naturalista’s and asked questions about their journey, what natural products did they use on their hair, etc. I was so excited and eager! Then I talked to those who were once natural but went back to the creamy crack, and it broke my heart. I couldn’t understand how that could happen because being natural is healthier, it’s liberating, it’s part of our culture. It’s the best thing ever…right? Well, that’s how I felt, and still feel. Fast forward a few years and I’ve come to realize, and respect, that not everyone falls in love with their natural hair. Natural hair is truly a struggle for some women.

For some, natural hair isn’t convenient because of the time it takes to care for and style it. It can also be expensive because of the plethora of products available in stores and on line for you to try, which can easily turn you into a product junkie. Others get disappointed when they can’t achieve the curly hair that they see promoted in advertising. I’ve also heard many times “My hair doesn’t act right natural.” There can be so many reasons why their hair doesn’t act right such as not having a healthy diet, not having a consistent hair care routine, or using products containing harsh chemicals. Maybe they aren’t keeping their hair properly moisturized. Whatever the reason, it’s making some women give up on their natural hair and go back to the creamy crack.

Hair relaxers were coined ‘creamy crack’ for a reason. It’s lure is powerful, and all it takes is one experience to become addicted. It offers convenience and versatility. You can apply it yourself or go to the beauty shop. It’s readily available, and it’s cheap – just like crack cocaine. The “high” that creamy crack offers lasts 3 – 4 weeks, sometimes longer depending on how you feel about having nappy roots (aka new growth). As with most drugs, the side effects of hair relaxers are awful: Scalp burns that often cause hair loss or permanent hair loss, breakage, and exposure to chemicals and toxins that get absorbed through our scalp and into our bodies that can cause a myriad of health issues. Despite the many cons of using hair relaxers, it’s still addictive and you come to depend on it, just like crack cocaine. I have firsthand knowledge since I was a hair relaxer addict for over 24 years.

In the end, I can understand why some do go back to the creamy crack. I have several friends who have big chopped many times, gone back to the creamy crack several times, all for various reasons. At the end of the day, we all have to do what is best for ourselves. But, knowing what I know now about chemical relaxers, and having watched Chris Rock’s documentary Good Hair, there’s no way I’ll go back to creamy crack. We’ve broken up for good.

 

Creamy Crack Free For Three Years!

April 6th  marked my three year anniversary of being creamy crack free! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MEEEE!!!!! Those three years rolled around fast! I’ve said it many times before, but I’m glad I’ve made this decision and I couldn’t be happier. It’s been an interesting journey full of highs and a few lows, but I wouldn’t change it for the world! My natural hair ROCKS!!!!

Undefined Curls

Undefined curls or undefined afros is something I’ve been hearing about for a while but never really paid much attention to. I don’t feel I can continue to ignore it because it’s really starting to bug me since these terms are actually targeted towards those whose 4c hair may not curl up and bounce like other natural hair types. Apparently to some, undefined curls or undefined afros are deemed undesirable or even unkempt. All I want to know is why? I know unkempt hair when I see it, and no it’s not attractive at all. But if a woman decides to just rock her beautiful afro with no particular curl pattern in it, what’s wrong with that? Why do people think that only curly natural hair is pretty?

There was a discussion on FaceBook yesterday regarding an article that had several pictures of women rocking their undefined afros in very elegant ways. The point of the article was to show that women with 4c hair can rock their hair without defined curls and still be beautiful. I think that is a great message to put out there and we need to hear it more. In the comments following the article, one naturalista made a very powerful, eye-opening statement:

“Curls are the new relaxer for natural women.”

I emphatically said “YES” when I read this statement because it is so true! There is a curly hair obsession reminiscent of the creamy crack (chemical relaxers) addiction among many in the natural hair community. There’s an insatiable thirst for curly hair. This, in turn, breeds product junkies because they are constantly searching for that magic potion to curl up their hair and give it the best definition. Somehow, curly naturals have become the standard of beauty to which we all should strive for, and again I want to know why? Please don’t think that I’m bashing those with curly hair because I’m not. I know there are many who have naturally curly hair, and there is nothing wrong with that. There are also those who go through painstaking efforts to make their hair curl. And then there are those who are ok with just letting their natural hair do whatever it is it does.

Many of us became natural because we knew it was the healthiest decision to make. We have educated ourselves and have personally experienced the harmful effects of chemical relaxers. We’ve vowed to get and maintain the healthiest hair possible by going natural. Somewhere along the way, the belief that curly hair is the only hair and the most beautiful hair to have has taken over. Maybe that belief was always there but I ignored it because I was so wrapped up in my own natural hair journey. I never cared about having curly hair because I knew from the beginning what my hair could and could not do, nor was I interested in trying to make it curl up.

As if we don’t have enough fighting and dissention amongst us as black women, it saddens me that we still have to deal with this very old, poisonous belief that kinky hair is ugly and undesirable, but curly (“good hair”) is beautiful. If less emphasis was put on having curly natural hair and more focus is put on natural hair health and the beauty of ALL hair types, then maybe there wouldn’t be such an obsession with achieving the ultimate defined curls. Maybe more naturalista’s would simply love their hair regardless if it can curl up, or if it’s just in an amazing afro standing tall and proud with no emphasis on curls.

Love of Self + Culture = Love of Natural Hair

For the past few months I’ve been reading and hearing disturbing accounts of black women being shamed or made to feel ugly because of the darkness of their skin, the kinkiness of their hair, the fullness of their lips or noses, or the curviness and voluptuousness of their bodies. This isn’t just happening in America, it’s happening in Brazil, Cuba, Africa, Jamaica, the Dominican Republic – any place where there are darker hued people. To me, it’s a reminder of how deeply rooted racism, colorism, and self hate really is. In Louisiana for an example, it is a fact of life that those deemed Creole, who are basically light skinned (might as well throw in “with good hair”) do not associate with those who are darker skinned. They won’t even allow a darker skinned person in a photo with them, let alone stand up in their wedding! In 2016 this is still happening, and it blows my mind.

In Brazil, there’s a young woman named Nayara Justino who is a model and actress. She made history by being the first dark skinned woman named Carnival Queen. Sadly, she was stripped of her title because of the racist outrage over her dark skin. The people wanted the tradition to continue of only crowning a lighter skinned Brazilian woman. This poor woman was called every racist name in the book on social media, and the judges cowardly caved into the public outcry and stripped her of her crown and giving Nayara no reason for doing so. Much later they denied taking her crown because of the color of her skin, even though everyone knows that’s exactly the reason why. Let’s be real – if the public never had a problem with her being Carnival Queen, she’d still have her crown, right? Right.

I hate hearing and reading about these things, but I’m glad for social media because without it we’d never hear about these things happening. Mainstream media never report about these types of things because they want you to believe that the world isn’t as racist as it is. Well you’d have to be living under a rock to not know that racism in America and in other countries is alive and well. It’s this narrow-minded thinking that keeps black women and women of color from loving everything about themselves. This is why it’s so hard for women to even attempt to love their natural  kinky, coily hair because all they hear and see on tv and in print ads is that straight, long hair is the only hair that is beautiful, and it’s the only hair you should want. Curls and kinks are ugly, unkempt looking, and wild. Just writing this makes me cringe at how ridiculous this thinking is, but it’s out there and the roots run deep in the minds of many black women and black men.

Recently I watched the documentary The Black Panthers: Vanguard of the Revolution on PBS. During the 1960’s and 1970’s there was a call for black pride because of the hideous racism and persecution taking place against blacks at the hands of white people. Loving ourselves, our culture, skin color, and natural hair were just some of things that were encouraged by the Black Panther Party. Seeing all of those beautiful, natural afros of various sizes, textures, and colors in this documentary made me smile. It made me swell with pride because all of these people looked like me, they had hair like me and they wore it proudly. After the demise of The Black Panther Party, that pride in our natural hair  practically disappeared as chemical relaxers and Jheri Curls took over. Fast forward to today and you have black women once again saying no to putting harmful chemicals in their hair and yes to proudly wearing their natural hair. Many call it a movement, others call it a fad. Ask the manufactures of chemical relaxers and beauty salons about their sales for the past ten years and they’ll tell you it’s not a fad. Today, women are more informed and aware of the harmful side affects that chemical relaxers cause. There is a plethora of information all over the internet at our disposal to educate ourselves with. So no, this is not a fad. This is a lifestyle change and natural hair is here to stay.

Collectively as women, we need to help and encourage each other whether if we are natural or not. Don’t look down on those who aren’t natural, be encouraging. Remember, most of us were addicted to the creamy crack for many years too! Don’t preach to them, be informative. Compliment one another and be an example. Be willing to discuss your hair journey if given the opportunity. Your story could help someone else make that final decision to go natural.  Before I went natural, when I would see black women rocking their afros, afro puffs, or twist outs, I always felt their hair was beautiful. I felt a sense of pride seeing them rock their natural hair because I always felt our natural hair is beautiful. I wouldn’t hesitate to compliment them and tell them how beautiful their hair was. Then I had to look at myself and ask “If you know natural hair is beautiful and it’s healthier for you, what’s keeping you from going natural?” I had no answer, and I had no excuse because there was nothing holding me back. My daughters were natural, so again, what was holding me back? Nothing. I got educated and I took the plunge. I big chopped.

There is nothing wrong with loving our culture. There is nothing wrong with loving our blackness. And there is definitely nothing wrong with loving ourselves and our natural hair.

 

My Two Cents on Black Hair Salons And Natural Hair

It’s been a while since I’ve had a soap box moment, and what inspired this blog is an article I read posted by Curly Nikki on FaceBook titled “The Death of The Black Hair Salon.” It was a very hot topic that many naturals chimed in on, including myself. The majority of those who posted a response had the same experiences and complaints:

• Wasting an entire day at the salon because of over-booking, slow service, or both.
• Damage done to hair and scalp (too much heat, harsh relaxers, etc)
• Ridiculous prices

For me, I got fed up with my beautician of 8 years because she simply didn’t respect me or my time. Because she is a great stylist with a clientele that could circle the block many times over, she felt that she could come in late (and by late I mean be a half hour to an hour late to your appointment), take two and three customers ahead of you, take 45 minute breaks to talk and chit chat and laugh with her family and friends who basically lived in the shop, and take 45 minute breaks to eat.

I share the blame for this because I allowed this behavior to go on. I loved the way she styled my hair, she understood me and knew my style preference. At the same time, I absolutely DETEST looking for new beauticians, so I overlooked and endured this treatment. Don’t get me wrong, there were times when I forewarned her before sitting in her chair that I had to be out by a certain time because I had things to do. Over time she became worse, and I became more and more pissed.

I would purposely make early morning appointments with the hopes of getting out of the shop before noon. Yes, I said noon. But low and behold, there would be three other ladies waiting with me who also had 8 o’clock appointments with my beautician. During all of this I was seriously considering going natural. I had been contemplating going natural for the past four or five years. As my beautician became worse with her tardiness, coming late to the shop with an attitude as if we, her faithful customers, did something wrong to her, my decision became easier to make.

My hair was very damaged by the heat and by the relaxers. I was curling or flat ironing my hair almost every day. For years I wore my hair in short jazzy hair styles, and with short hair (at least for me) your hair looks better curled, and that’s what I did every day. I curled it, basically fried it, to death. I had so much breakage it wasn’t even funny. Deep down I knew this wasn’t right. Deep down I knew my hair deserved better and it needed to be taken care of properly with lots of TLC. The only way I could do this was to start from scratch, and that’s what I did.

Big chopping wasn’t a big deal to me because my hair was already very short. I stopped going to the shop and I stopped getting relaxers. The only relaxer that remained in my hair was at the top, and I began to trim it out little by little myself. I went to my husband’s barber and had him finish the job and that freed me from the creamy crack. That began my natural hair journey. I’ll never forget the day that I went to my husband’s barber. When he was finished I smiled so much, and I couldn’t stop smiling if you paid me to. I. WAS. FREE.

There’s an unwillingness on the part of black beauticians and salons to educate themselves on caring for and styling natural hair. I’ve been turned away by many who turned their noses up at having natural hair customers, yet they complain about and wonder why they are losing business? They wrongly believe that the natural hair movement is just a fad, that it will run it’s course and black women will come tearing down their doors begging for the creamy crack again. I strongly disagree. While there are many who have gone back to the creamy crack, the number is very small compared to those who are joining the natural hair community.

Many blame YouTube vloggers and DIY videos for the black salon losing business. There wouldn’t be a need for YouTube DIY videos if beauticians would educate themselves and learn how to care for all hair types and not just slathering chemicals on our hair. We’re in an age where women are more informed, and the information is out there at your finger tips if you want to research your options. Women they want to live healthier lifestyles and they want to save a buck. We want to learn how to do things ourselves, and I think that’s a positive thing. Not all naturalista’s are into DIY. There are many who still go to salons and have found a natural hair salon or beautician to care for their hair. There is nothing wrong with that. Matter of fact, I’m still looking for a good natural hair beautician!

Most of all, our time is precious, and if black salons refuse to respect our time, then they will continue to lose customers period, and not to just the natural hair movement.