Category Archives: Curly hair

Newborn And Infant Hair Care

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My oldest daughter Taylor at three months of age. 

There’s nothing more natural than the hair of a newborn baby. Most, but not all, African American babies are born with a head full of hair. New mothers, including myself, are often full of questions when it comes to caring for the hair of a newborn baby. For African American mothers, the questions are usually How often should I wash their hair? What should I put in their hair after washing it? Do I put oil in their hair, and if so what do I use? Thankfully I was blessed to have my mother (who raised six kids) to help me through it all.

But what if you’re a white mother or father who adopted an African American baby? Not knowing what to do or where to begin with your child’s hair can be overwhelming, and I’m here to help. Now let me be clear (*disclaimer*), as a mother of four children, I’m speaking from my own experience as an African American woman and from what I know to be true or common when it comes to African American hair. Your experiences may not be the same as mine, so please feel free to make adjustments as you see fit.

Hair Textures & When to Wash

No two heads of hair are alike, and this is especially true for African American hair. That is why it is vital that you learn about the different hair textures that we have so you’ll know how to care for your babies hair. At birth your baby may have fine, soft, straight, or curly hair. However, around four or five months, your baby’s hair will go through “the change” where that fine baby hair changes into thick, coarse, soft or curly or wavy hair. Or it can be a combination of any of those textures. Because of our textured hair, it tends to be drier and can easily break off. So it is a must that you handle your babies hair with gentle care

While it is very common for other cultures to wash their hair once a day to remove excess oil from their hair, African American hair needs those natural oils. Frequently washing African American hair strips it of its natural oils and can leave our hair dry, brittle, and frizzy. When it comes to your baby, washing their hair once a week with a mild baby shampoo is perfectly fine. Because they have such sensitive scalps and a soft spot on their head, you should not wash their hair every day. Unless of course they have some kind of medical condition and are under doctors orders. Also, when washing your babies hair, there is no need to work up a lather when using shampoo. Just gently distribute the shampoo through their hair enough to clean it and rinse with lukewarm water.

After their hair is washed, add a small amount of baby oil to their hair and gently massage it in. Then you can comb it with a wide tooth comb (the teeth in baby combs are too small and tend to snag in curly, textured hair and can be painful to the baby) or brush with a fine bristled baby brush. Other oils that are mild and safe to use on your babies hair are extra virgin olive oil, jojoba oil, or organic coconut oil.

Texture Change 

As mentioned earlier, you may notice around four or five months that your babies hair texture is changing. Their hair may become thicker and longer with tighter coils or curls, which will require more care and attention. It is important to keep their hair detangled and moisturized as it will become even more prone to dryness. Continue to use a mild baby shampoo, but this is also a good time to use a mild conditioner as well. It is also a good time to use cream based products to keep their hair moisturized. Oil alone will not moisturize their hair. See the link at the end of the blog for suggestions of products to use on your baby’s hair after the texture change.

How to Detangle

Once your babies hair texture has changed, it is best to detangle your babies hair after it’s been washed or when it’s slightly damp. NEVER comb or detangle your babies hair while it’s dry. You will encounter a lot of tangles and knots that can snag in the comb. Again, this will hurt your babies sensitive scalp. To detangle, start at the ends and gently work your way up. If you notice knots or tangles, try to detangle with your fingers first with a little oil on our fingers. If it’s not time to wash their hair, you can take a wet washcloth (a soft one) and ring out the extra water and gently rub it over your babies hair just to dampen it. Then add a little oil (jojoba, coconut, or baby oil) and gently massage it through their hair and proceed to combing and detangling.

 

Sisters

                                    My daughters Taylor, age 2 and Talya, age 5 months wearing ponytails and curly afros.

Styling

Nothing makes new mothers happier than to be able to put pretty bows, headbands, and barrettes in their little girl’s hair, especially when they have enough hair to put into ponytails, plaits or braids. For some babies, it is a necessity to style their hair to cut back on tangles and the matting of the hair. This is especially true with African American babies. Depending on the length, a few ponytails with cloth rubber bands should suffice. If you have to force your babies hair into a ponytail with a lot of pulling, don’t do it. Leave their hair alone. Try to stay away from styles that require a lot of pulling of the hair, and avoid tight ponytails and braids. Two of my children were born with a ton of hair, and it only got longer and longer as they got older, so I had no choice but to put their hair in ponytails, plaits or braids to keep it from tangling or matting.

As time goes on, you will develop a hair care routine for your baby, and you will learn what works and what doesn’t for their hair. It’s nice to have a guide of what to expect as you experience your babies hair changes and growth. Did you find this information helpful? Did I miss anything? Please leave a comment and let me know!

For additional information on what products to use on your babies hair – African American or bi-racial, check out this website:

https://www.mom365.com/baby/baby-care/dry-hair-solutions-for-baby

 

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The Erasure of Kinky Hair

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Purple and black fro

The erasure of kinky hair is a real issue, and I’ve been speaking on it since I started this blog and big chopped over four years ago. One glaring and utterly disturbing thing I noticed after becoming natural was black natural haired women’s obsession with having curly hair and all the bloggers, vloggers, and hair products that promote this trend. I didn’t understand it then, and I don’t understand it now. For many African American women, being natural isn’t pretty unless your hair is curly. I’m talking about those who aren’t happy with a simple twist out or braid out; they want that curly hair on a constant basis from using one or a bunch of products that will magically make their hair curl. What they fail to realize is that for many, despite the products they use, their hair still may not curl up the way they want it to – especially if they have kinky hair. I’ve even heard women say that they stopped being natural because their hair wouldn’t curl like the other naturally curly women (mixed race women or the bloggers who have 3b – 4a type hair).  I’ve also heard women say that they refuse to go natural because they know  their hair won’t curl up. All of these sentiments sadden me.

I always thought that the natural hair movement was about encouraging black women to embrace their hair as it grows out of their scalp and to learn to nourish it, take care of it and most importantly, love it. At least that’s what it means to me. But the constant barrage of images of women with curly hair due to their mixed heritage or whose hair type is simply naturally curlier than those with kinky hair has many black women seeking something that may never happen for them unless they become product junkies and buy a bunch of products. This, in turn, does not allow them to love and appreciate their hair for what it does naturally on its own and accept their hair for what it cannot do. In turn, they give up on their natural hair journey because of disappointment and unrealistic expectations.

I have nothing against curly girls. I love and appreciate them. But we cannot ignore the fact that there is still a lack of representation for those who have kinky hair. I place the bulk of the blame on the companies who market false hopes and misguided ideas of beauty to women with kinky hair that they too can have instant curly hair by using a cream, gel or shampoo. Curly hair is not what makes natural hair beautiful. Being natural and no longer poisoning your hair, scalp, and essentially your body with chemical relaxers is what is beautiful.  Caring for your hair with all natural oils and products is what is beautiful.

Making the decision to rock your natural hair is not something you should take lightly. It’s an emotional journey, it’s time-consuming, and it’s full of highs and lows. Sticking to that decision when experiencing the frustrating lows is even harder. But one of the worst things you can do is to go into your natural hair journey with unrealistic expectations. If you’re a kinky haired girl, learn to love your kinks and coils and don’t be ashamed to rock them. It is completely okay if your hair doesn’t curl up magically after putting a curling pudding on it. Don’t allow our kinky hair to be erased because society and hair care lines are catering to and promoting curly hair every time you go to the store, or look at a magazine or watch a TV commercial. Kinky hair is beautiful. Kinky hair needs representation. We are not the stepchild of the natural hair community. We will not be erased.

When The Creamy Crack Lures You Back

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Straight and curly hair

Hair is such a personal and emotional thing for women. We can wake up one morning and decide to cut it all off, dye it, wear a wig, get a sew in, or have it braided. It’s no different when it comes to having natural hair or having it chemically straightened with relaxers.

When I first started on my natural hair journey, I was like a sponge. I reached out to fellow naturalista’s and asked questions about their journey, what natural products did they use on their hair, etc. I was so excited and eager! Then I talked to those who were once natural but went back to the creamy crack, and it broke my heart. I couldn’t understand how that could happen because being natural is healthier, it’s liberating, it’s part of our culture. It’s the best thing ever…right? Well, that’s how I felt, and still feel. Fast forward a few years and I’ve come to realize, and respect, that not everyone falls in love with their natural hair. Natural hair is truly a struggle for some women.

For some, natural hair isn’t convenient because of the time it takes to care for and style it. It can also be expensive because of the plethora of products available in stores and on line for you to try, which can easily turn you into a product junkie. Others get disappointed when they can’t achieve the curly hair that they see promoted in advertising. I’ve also heard many times “My hair doesn’t act right natural.” There can be so many reasons why their hair doesn’t act right such as not having a healthy diet, not having a consistent hair care routine, or using products containing harsh chemicals. Maybe they aren’t keeping their hair properly moisturized. Whatever the reason, it’s making some women give up on their natural hair and go back to the creamy crack.

Hair relaxers were coined ‘creamy crack’ for a reason. It’s lure is powerful, and all it takes is one experience to become addicted. It offers convenience and versatility. You can apply it yourself or go to the beauty shop. It’s readily available, and it’s cheap – just like crack cocaine. The “high” that creamy crack offers lasts 3 – 4 weeks, sometimes longer depending on how you feel about having nappy roots (aka new growth). As with most drugs, the side effects of hair relaxers are awful: Scalp burns that often cause hair loss or permanent hair loss, breakage, and exposure to chemicals and toxins that get absorbed through our scalp and into our bodies that can cause a myriad of health issues. Despite the many cons of using hair relaxers, it’s still addictive and you come to depend on it, just like crack cocaine. I have firsthand knowledge since I was a hair relaxer addict for over 24 years.

In the end, I can understand why some do go back to the creamy crack. I have several friends who have big chopped many times, gone back to the creamy crack several times, all for various reasons. At the end of the day, we all have to do what is best for ourselves. But, knowing what I know now about chemical relaxers, and having watched Chris Rock’s documentary Good Hair, there’s no way I’ll go back to creamy crack. We’ve broken up for good.

 

The Forgotten Ones

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Curly red hair

The subject I’m about to discuss is a sensitive subject for many naturals, mainly because the natural hair movement started out being for and about black women. It was our movement celebrating our unique hair because it wasn’t being celebrated by society or mainstream media. But as time went on, we began to hear from other women who didn’t quite look like us, but had something in common with us: Curly hair that those in their own culture deemed unruly, unprofessional and ugly. They also have a hard time taming and finding the right products for their curly hair. These are women who are of Irish, Jewish, or other nationalities with naturally curly hair.

The fact that these women felt that they didn’t have a voice or platform to discuss their hair issues, which ultimately led them to the natural hair movement of African American women where we discuss every hair issue under the sun, intrigued me. Who would have thought that white women with curly hair would have hair issues? Who could possibly call their hair ugly? Okay, I can see their hair possibly being hard to manage because of the long length and curls, but still! The younger me would have loved to have their hair! It wasn’t until I started to read different articles about their hair struggles and how far back the hair shaming and hate goes that I developed a better understanding and empathy for these women, or as I call them, the forgotten ones. I was also fortunate enough to have conversations with a workmate who began to relate to me her own personal struggles with being a redheaded, curly haired Irish woman. From dealing with bullying as a child, perverted stereotypes of redheaded women as an adult, and being constantly reminded that her naturally curly hair wasn’t acceptable during her twelve year career as a television news reporter. Aside from being a television reporter, those are all things that I know I, as a black woman can relate to.

Our conversations started because she follows my natural  blog and she would tell me how much she loves that I blog about my natural hair journey and how I’m constantly reaffirming that our natural hair is beautiful. Her hair is thick, long and naturally curly. Like African American hair, any amount of heat or humidity makes her hair big, curly and hard to maintain. When she became a reporter, it was put into her contract that she had to chemically straighten her naturally curly hair. Curly hair was not allowed on television. Imagine having to do this every three months and pay $300 each time – for 12 years! During the summer months it didn’t matter if her hair was chemically straightened or not, the heat and humidity would poof up her hair and it would curl up anyway – and she’d get reprimanded for it.  It wasn’t just her who got talked to, it was all female reporters with naturally curly hair who were constantly chastised and reminded that if their hair wasn’t bone straight, it was unacceptable and a violation of rules. Talk about a blow to your self-esteem!

Then there’s the myth that red hair is tied to witch craft and the devil. So being a redhead was like a curse. In certain parts of Europe, having red hair could get you killed. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around that one. But nothing much has changed because today, having red curly hair still makes you a walking target for ridicule and shunning. My heart went out to her as she related different stories to me about her hair struggles, and how self conscience it’s made her over the years. Finding a beautician who knew how to care for and maintain her curly mane was a nightmare in itself.

What I find to be particularly disturbing and frankly disgusting, is the lack of knowledge, awareness or education within the news industry when it comes to female reporters of different races, backgrounds and hair types. This lack of awareness exists because the powers that be don’t care. What matters to them is ratings and viewer opinion. The viewers want to see female reporters with bone straight hair, therefore that is what the news outlets provide. For black female reporters, this means wearing weaves, wigs, or having to chemically relax their hair in order to be in front of the camera. No Afros or curly hair. To the viewing public, textured or ethnic hair of any kind is unkempt and unprofessional. I’ll let you take a wild guess as to who mostly make up this viewer demographic. Yup, you guessed it, white viewers. Unfortunately, in 2017 we are still dealing with this kind of close-minded thinking, hair shaming, and discrimination.

I make it a point to tell my workmate that her naturally curly hair is beautiful. I love that it’s red. It makes her unique. I love her freckles. They add character and enhance her beauty. In my eyes she is beautiful. Period. Women and girls who have naturally curly hair, regardless of race, need to hear that their hair is beautiful. No one should grow up hearing that their hair is ugly or be teased and called demeaning names. As women, we should uplift one another every chance we get. So while the natural hair movement started out being about us, African American women, it needs to branch out to the women who are also discriminated against, ridiculed, and looked upon as less than because of how their hair grows out of their scalp. Telling a female that her natural hair is ugly isn’t just about her hair. Those hurtful words get internalized to the point that when she looks at herself in the mirror, she starts to view her entire being as ugly. This is where low self-esteem and self worth come into play, and it can stay with you well into  adulthood. These women and girls will no longer be “the forgotten ones” to me. I welcome and celebrate all natural redheads and/or curly haired females. We all should.

And please, don’t say that these women should start their own movement or why can’t we ever have our own stuff to ourselves. It’s not about that. African American hair is unique. It’s beautiful. Our hair is not appreciated for it’s natural beauty still in mainstream media or in general, but we’re also not the only ones with textured, curly hair or who have hair struggles. I’m glad to see bloggers like Curly Nikki embrace curly haired women of all ethnic backgrounds and provide them with helpful tips and suggestions. That kind of welcoming, helpful spirit is what leads to better understanding and communication among women of all backgrounds. Isn’t that what we need anyway?

I found this great article below that speaks about redhead bullying. Check it out and tell me what you think!

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/ama-yawson/red-ginger-hair-rare-and-_b_6071202.html