Sisterlocks: Two Weeks in & First Wash!

I’m two weeks into my sisterlock journey and I’m loving it! I did experience some frustrations in the beginning with how stiff my locs were in the beginning. I know that your locs will be stiff when they are first installed, but my loctician also sprayed some kind of setting spray in my hair that made it stay the way she styled it. I didn’t wash my hair the first week, and after experimenting with styling my hair and becoming increasingly frustrated because my hair only went one way, I washed my hair the beginning of the second week. Now my hair feels much better. The shrinkage is real, but that’s ok. My hair hangs much better and I’m no longer trying to style it. I was encouraged by many to “trust the process” and to let my locs be. So that’s what I’m doing.

The first wash

One of the things that made me go ahead and wash it was my dandruff. I’ve always had a dandruff problem and I was starting to see flakes and that’s never cute. I must tell you, my wash routine is so simple and quick now compared to when I was a loose natural! I plaited my hair and banded the ends. I used small amounts of the sisterlocks shampoo and massaged it into each plait section, gave my scalp a good scrub and then rinsed. I did all of this in the shower which worked well for me because I was able to make sure all of the shampoo rinsed out completely. I got out the shower and dried my hair with an old cotton t-shirt and then began to separate my locks to make sure none of them stuck together. Once I was done separating my locs, I let my hair air dry. I felt no stress, no dread, no tired arms like I did when I was a loose natural! I was able to go about my business around the house as my hair dried on it’s own.

The Sisterlocks shampoo

One concern I had was about the sisterlocks shampoo. I’ve heard from many that said the shampoo dried their scalp or made their dry scalp and dandruff issues worse. Many suggested diluting the shampoo with water because it is so concentrated, putting it in a spray bottle and spraying it on your scalp. I am currently out of spray bottles and need to buy a new one, so I just used small amounts of the shampoo for each section and made sure I rinsed thoroughly. After I washed my hair and it began to dry, I paid close attention to how my scalp felt afterward, and it felt fine. Days later it still feels fine. I think I’ll need a second wash to know for a certainty that the sisterlocks shampoo does not bother my scalp or dry it out too much.

Glorious freedom

This newfound hair freedom is glorious. That’s the best way I can describe it. Once my hair was completely dry, I plaited it up, tied it up and went to bed. The next morning I took my plaits down, fluffed my hair and went to work. You guys – the fact that I can get up in the morning and not worry about how I’m going to wear my hair or what steps I’m going to need to take to achieve a look is EVERYTHING! My only concern now is finding something to wear. It’s beautiful. My first follow-up and retie is this coming Monday. This is where my consultant will observe my locs, my grid and growth and deal with any slippage (locs coming undone during the washing process). She’ll also inform me of how often she thinks I should come in for reties.

Here are some pictures of me and my sisterlocks thus far:

Installation day in the red, and the first couple of days following it.

Week one – wearing it to the side because locs were stiff and wouldn’t cooperate!

Week 2, the day after the first wash. Shrinkage, but my locs are now hanging correctly. LOVE THEM!!

XoXo

I Wish…

I wish I could wrap my arms around every woman – natural or not – who is scared and doesn’t have the confidence to rock their natural hair.

I wish I could convince black women that they don’t need to have defined curls in order for their hair to be pretty, especially if they have 4c hair. Your kinks and coils are beautiful just the way they grow out of your head. There’s nothing wrong with having defined curls, but don’t let that pursuit define you.

I wish there was a way to stop all the wolves in sheep clothing from making money by  misleading and flat out lying about their snake oil products that are currently on the shelves in hair salons and stores.

I wish black women with 4c hair would wake up and educate themselves about their hair so they can stop being fooled by stylists and manufacturers who claim to have better methods/ways/products to curl up their hair when it is completely false. All it’s doing is feeding the false narrative that curly, defined hair is the only natural hair to have.

The argument

Last week I allowed myself to enter into a semi-argument with a white stylist who helps women with all hair types achieve defined curls. A natural hair page that I follow on Instagram posted a video of him cutting a curly woman’s natural hair. She was biracial and looked to have 3a -3b type hair. I had never heard of this stylist before in my life, but I quickly realized why. His clientele includes mostly white women and bi-racial women with a few African American women sprinkled in from the photos and videos he has posted. On his Instagram page he explains his methods and makes it clear that he does not see anyone who uses oils, heavy creams or ‘motor oils’ in their hair because he feels oils of any kind only clog your pores and prevents your hair from growing and breathing. It goes against his methods. The way he worded it rubbed me the wrong way. First, he’s not the first stylist I’ve come across to speak against using oil in your hair. I don’t agree with them, but to each his own.

Hypocrisy with a side of snake oil

This is what I absolutely HATE: Stop making blanket statements about ethnic hair and what should and should not be used for said hair. Africans and many other cultures have used natural oils and butters on their scalps and hair for centuries, and it has resulted in healthy, long, beautiful hair. But now because you have products you want to sell and a “new method” for achieving curls, we’re supposed to stop using oils? No sir.

This stylist went on to tell a woman that she only uses oils and butters “because someone told you to.” Excuse you, but aren’t you now doing the same thing? You want ethnic women, African American women and biracial women to stop using oils and butters because YOU said so? Not to mention you have a line of products that you’re trying to sell! You have an agenda just like all these other companies selling snake oil to the uninformed. Please have several seats.

Keep your condescension

Perhaps if he had first acknowledged WHY Africans and other cultures use oils and butters and then explain why his method is more beneficial for achieving curls, (because that’s what he’s selling – curly hair) then maybe I wouldn’t have felt some type of way. However, it was clear that his sole purpose was to promote his products and brand, not to educate. In doing so, he completely disrespected, disregarded, and had a very condescending attitude toward those who do use oils and butters or ‘motor oils’ (hair grease where the main ingredient is petroleum) on their hair. This, to me, is not cool and I pointed all of this out to him. He ended the conversation with “You clearly just met me and know nothing about me. Have a good day.” I was quite tickled. Clearly I touched a nerve, but I had to call him out.

First of all, the majority of the photos on his page were of white women or biracial women with curly hair. If that’s your clientele then I get it – heavy oils and butters are not beneficial for their hair. But if you claim to care for all hair types, then show that in your photos and videos. I didn’t see that when I visited his page and I pointed that out. The next day he responded to my comment telling me to look at his page and videos, and low and behold he has more photos of black women with 4c hair and a video of him personally washing a black woman’s hair. 😒

Not every natural hair page represents your hair

I shared all of that to say this: I had to come to realize that not every natural hair page is geared toward nor promotes 4C hair. The natural hair page that I followed on Instagram  posted a lot of curly hair photos and videos, women with 3a, 3b hair – hair that look nothing like mine. They are the reason why I ended up arguing with a stylist, which to me turned out to be a good thing because if nothing else I hope it made him aware of how misleading his claims are and the need to make sure his photos and videos reflect what he claims. But it also made me realize that I need to seek out natural hair pages that reflect my hair. I need to see 4c hair that look like mine. I need to see 4c kinks celebrated and elevated, not videos and photos of people trying to achieve curls who have a totally different hair type than my own.

I did some cleaning

I began to go through the natural hair pages I follow on Instagram and Facebook and I deleted all those that were not dedicated to 4c hair. It was time that I did some cleaning. I then searched out and followed pages that are dedicated to 4c hair. Problem solved. Representation matters. When you don’t see yourself represented in certain areas of the natural hair community, you have to do something about it. Otherwise you’ll find yourself wishing, desiring, and becoming envious of what you don’t have instead of loving and embracing the beauty you do have. I hate that there is this deep divide within the natural hair community with 4c hair being the forever stepchild, but there are ways around that without discriminating against other hair types.

Find your tribe

This is so important. Finding your tribe does not mean you dislike others in the natural hair community. It means you’ve found those with hair more like yours that you can bond with and exchange ideas and tips from. Finding your tribe keeps you grounded. Finding your tribe helps you to appreciate the beauty of your hair. Finding your tribe will keep you from thinking that you need bouncy curls in order for your natural hair to be beautiful. Finding your tribe will allow you to laugh and side eye those who say natural oils and butters are bad for your 4c hair.

Sisterlocks – I’m Locked and Loaded!

A view from the back the day of my installation

You guys!!!!! Yesterday was the day!! November 16th I got sisterlocks! Nine and a half hours, not sure how many locs because my loctician didn’t count them, but my babies are here!!

How they look

Remember how I kept worrying about breakage and how I said I kept cutting my hair wherever I felt there was breakage? Well all that cutting I’ve done have resulted in me having a very layered look in the back. My loctician said it’s going to turn out pretty once my hair grows out and gets fuller. YAY!!

Photos my loctician took and posted on her IG page.

What I don’t like and didn’t realize was how short my hair is/looks in the front. I have a BIG forehead. Actually, it’s a fivehead!! All in all, I love my sisterlocks and I’m ready to love them and pamper them so they can live their best life!

Drink lots of water and eat healthy

One thing I’m hearing a lot from my consultant and other loc’d women is that drinking a lot of water and eating a healthier diet is essential to the health and growth of your locs. What you put inside your body will be reflected in your hair and skin. It’s not that any of this information is new to me, but it’s such a good reminder to up my water intake and make healthier food choices. Locs aren’t just a hairstyle, it’s a lifestyle.

This new step in my natural hair journey is exciting and it screams FREEDOM! No more combs, brushes, hair products. The ability to just wake up and go – OMG!!! I’m here for all of it!! I only wish I had done it sooner. #TrustTheProcess #OneOfTheBestHairDecisionsEver

Fake 4c Naturals? Let’s Talk About It!

Issa thing, y’all.

First, this blog post was inspired by YouTube vlogger KandidKinks video that spoke on this very subject.  Click on the link to watch.

Do you really have 4c hair, sis?

To be completely honest, when I started my natural hair journey and began doing my research, I saw a lot of natural hair bloggers or vloggers who claimed to have 4c hair OR type 4 hair that had me like “Hmmm…are you sure, sis? Your hair looks NOTHING like mine!” But I rolled with it because I was still learning (shoulder shrug). Fast forward a couple of years and I still never really spoke on it, but the skepticism was still in the dark recesses of my mind. When I started my natural hair journey I had the mindset of ‘let’s support one another and be encouraging because we’re all in this natural hair thing together.’ I didn’t want to leave room for any negativity. I was adorably naive. I say that because even though that was and still is my mindset, I quickly found out that is not the case within the natural hair community. There is a huge divide among us, and I hate it. But that’s a story for another day. And I’ve blogged about it many times.

However…

It was a total fluke that I stumbled upon KandidKinks video. I was doing my usual YouTube perusing one night, and the title of her video “Stop lying to 4c women for views..A vegan Mukbang rant” got my immediate attention. So let’s get into it.

The elephant in the room

As I stated earlier, I’ve had my suspicions for a long time, but I just rolled with it.  Now it’s time to acknowledge the elephant in the room. There are bloggers and vloggers (I’m not going to call any names) who have made coins off of claiming to have 4c hair when they clearly do not. In turn, these so-called natural hair experts have less informed women (and men) who are seeking guidance and help, thinking they can get the same curly, loose definition as a 3a, 3b, or even a 4a natural by using certain products or methods. Not only is this all kinds of wrong, but it is extremely misleading and doing the natural hair community, especially those with 4c hair, a huge disservice.

I’ve been preaching since the day I started this natural hair blog: LEARN TO ACCEPT YOUR HAIR FOR WHAT IT IS AND FOR WHAT IT CAN AND CANNOT DO! How can anyone accept their natural hair when there are wolves in sheep’s clothing conning them with snake oil? There is no magic product or oil that will magically turn your 4c hair into 4a or 3b hair with loose bouncy curls!

educate yourself so you can accept your hair type

In order to accept your natural hair, whatever type you may have, you must educate yourself. Find out your hair type and characteristics. Do research on your hair type. Use Google. Talk to natural hair professionals if you can. Start with your natural haired friends and family if you have any. Talk to them. Ask them about their hair care routines. What products do they use? Find people with hair that looks like yours on YouTube, Pinterest, and follow them. Let them inspire you. The same way you researched and learned about your hair type, you must do the same when it comes to products. Research what hair moisturizers work best for your hair. Research what natural oils work best for your hair type.

Find what works for you and be patient

After doing those things, take all the information you’ve gathered and sift through them. Try some of the suggestions and see what your hair likes and doesn’t like, and tweak it to fit your needs. Because no two heads of hair are alike, Brenda’s hair care routine may not work for you the same as it works for her. Find what works for you and go with that. But know that the further you get in your natural hair journey, you will find that you may have to tweak things for your hair several times, and that is completely normal.

Above all else, be patient. It’s a process, and it’s important that you develop a relationship with your natural hair. Learn to love your hair – the good and the bad that comes with it. Embrace your hair. Once you do that, there won’t be any room left for anyone to con you into believing that you should follow them or waste money on products that won’t work on your hair.

Confession Time!

So way back when, I made a post stating how I could never be a vlogger and more power to those who do. Welp, since I decided to get sisterlocks, guess what I’ve been doing on YouTube? Vlogging!

I’m new to this, y’all

There’s no bells or whistles with my little video posts y’all. It’s just me and my camera phone in a room with some lamp light. There’s no music or cute intro or graphics. It’s just me talking about: My decision to get sisterlocks, how to prepare my hair for my sisterlocks install, why I went natural, and avoid being a lazy natural. So I have about four videos up!

forgive my hair and non-beat face!

Now let me warn you – my hair is looking jacked in some of them, LOL! I was having bad hair days and did not have the energy to try to “fix it” to make it look perfect for the camera. My face isn’t beat. It’s just me as is with half on half off lipstick, lol! Yes, I know it’s not cute, but I wanted to be as authentic as possible. Authentic as in I made a lot of these videos after working an 8 hour day, after cooking dinner, and finally having some time to myself despite being tired. And it’s been surprisingly fun because it’s coming from a place of me wanting to helping others. If I can help someone else with my experiences, then I’m happy.

Check me out

I know there are those who make a living off of vlogging, and I commend them. If I had the energy to do so, I would too! Or if I get better at this vlogging thing (editing, graphics, etc), perhaps I’ll take it more seriously. But in the mean time, when I feel like I have something to offer, I’ll pick up my phone and talk about something. If you’re bored or have the least bit of interest in what I have to talk about, you click the this link for Its Sonya and enjoy!